Depression Hurts

So everything's going well. Work is OK, it's a fresh new year, and I'm even trying the optimism thing. And then today I wake up, have a productive day, and at about 5pm, out of nowhere--sometime during the walk from the main office to my apartment--comes the crash. For reasons I can't explain, I just got this overwhelming feeling of sadness and dread. And then on top of that I was pissed, because I couldn't figure out why. I just felt horrible, like I was falling apart. Like I used to feel when I was 8 years old, when I was scared of thunderstorms and I'd start freaking as soon as the sky darkened. Ick. So I got home and bawled.

By now the waterworks are well over, but I'm still feeling pretty gross. I wish I could figure it out. I pulled this crap a few weeks ago, too, while I was in Texas. NOT a hit with the family, I can tell you. Does this mean I'm on the verge of a breakdown? Do I have some kind of deep oppressed psychological issue I'm supposed to be working through? Or am I just pissy because it's a rainy day and I have a cold? And what really irritates me is that I have absolutely no idea when it'll happen again. I guess all I can do is assume that it's just one of those things, life backing up on me or whatever.

Sorry--I really hate to use the blog as a stand-in for the shrink's couch. I guess I'm just hoping I'm not the only one who occasionally implodes with no good reason.