Saturday, July 31, 2004

Live from Ohio!

So much crap has happened in the two weeks since I actually updated this thing that I barely know where to start! It seems forever ago that I was anxious and bored at work and bitching and moaning about needing sex. Although everything seems to work in cycles...in two weeks from now, I could very well be bored at work and bitching and moaning about needing sex yet again. Let's hope that the change of scenery will lead to a change in the mindlessly boring cycles of my life!

So, first off, Guy update. Yeah, so we got together a lot before I left, we had some seriously good times, and now I'm 1500 miles away. Shit. Not that we didn't know this was coming. And I have absolutely no regrets. I may be missing the mark, and he may not agree, but I thought we had a pretty good connection. We had fun together, we laughed, we got drunk, we had good times. I really, really liked this guy. Being a typical, overanalyzing female, I find myself wondering about the purpose of our truncated relationship. Was it a just another fling? Was he a rebound guy, to help me recover from The Boy? Or did I totally find this perfect guy for me and blow my big chance with bad timing? Something was definitely blooming. I suppose I could be pessimistic and say "it's better this way, he would eventually have gotten sick of me, or I would have gotten sick of him, and it would have ended badly." But that's bullshit rationalization. I miss him and I wish he was here. When I left I didn't say anything about trying the long-distance thing, even though part of me really wanted to--we had barely met, after all, and I didn't want to freak him out or be unfair to him. But now I'm here and he's there and I just wish it didn't have to be over. Of course, let's not rule out the possibility that I'm being overdramatic and he just saw me as a temporary diversion (and I certainly wouldn't blame him; I told him once that I was the perfect girl for any guy with committment issues--two weeks and I'm gone!). But if not I guess I just have to believe that if things are supposed to come together for us, they will. I told him that I miss him, and I guess that if he misses me too, that's a start.

And that's enough melodrama for tonight. On to other exciting topics! Leaving TLU, for example. It was a good thing. There was a sort of insincere party thing to send me off, obviously thrown together at the last minute and piggybacked with another staff member who happened to be leaving at the same time. But it was still kind of fun. There was the cool "last night out" thing at Dave and Buster's with all of my best friends, followed by a great night with The Guy. When I left the office for the last time, I sure as hell wasn't sad about it. Something interesting that I discoverd, though, is how easy it was to tell who my real friends were. J, for example, pulled her usual antisocial bullshit and ditched out on my D&B party, which pissed me off royally. And then there's Rita, the office secretary, who didn't even bother to say goodbye to me! What the hell? I was always nice to Rita! Hell, when she took her annual three-week vacation where she leaves us high and dry with no idea of what she's in the middle of, I ALWAYS make it a point to clean her desk and organize her messages before she gets back. Guess I shouldn't have bothered! My overemotional former coworker must have told her something nasty about me. Screw it. Why dwell on the negative? I have more good friends than lousy ones. Like Kendall and Alicia, who helped me pack the evil U-haul late into Friday night, and Kyle who showed up unexpectedly and helped out. And Kristina and Ann, who gave me a kick-ass Austin night out and a terrific going-away gift. And of course Toi, my office buddy. I miss all of these people so damn much that it's crazy! And I hope we keep in touch. I suppose only time will tell.

Well, I have lots of things to say about the state of affairs in the world, the Democratic National Convention, etc., etc., and I'm sure I'll have plenty of humorous observations about the differences between Ohioans and Texans to share, but right now my hands are cold because it's freezing in this fucking office. So stay tuned. In the meantime, go to Obama's website and check out one cool dude who, with any luck, might just be running for president in a decade or two.
-pg

Friday, July 30, 2004

The Migration

For those of you faithful readers wondering where the hell I've been, I'm up north! The drive to Ohio came to a conclusion late Monday night. Most of the week has been frantic, but now that the weekend's here, I plan to do some serious sitting around on my ass, and I'll update this blog with all of the interesting tidbits from the last week or two. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive!
-pg

Friday, July 16, 2004

Vote Republican! It's Easier Than Thinking...

Holy crap, Blogger has made the posting application all fancy;  we can change fonts and center text without having to put on our HTML secret-decoder ring.  I don't know if I can handle all the excitement!  I'm distracted by the fancy buttons above the text window...
 
I do have a point today.  Don't I always?  Found a funny website:  WTF is it now?  Pretty cool, anti-Bush, of course, with lots of funny pictures and quotes.  It's a little flashy--animated graphics are irritating, and some of the image links don't work.  But worth a look.
 
So I'm psyched, Murphy has linked to my blog.  I feel so validated!  
 
I haven't heard from The Guy since Tuesday.  This is not a big deal.  I guess not.  I suppose I'm only tempted to obsess because The Big Move is only a week away.  I will defer further comment until more time has passed and I've convinced myself that I somehow blew my latest quasi-relationship.  Stay tuned.
 
Work sucks, there is nothing for me to do but sit here and tell you about it.  Exactly three years ago today, I reported to TLU for work for the first time.  And now there's only a week left.  I suppose that warrants some reflection, but for the time being I just want to get the hell out of here.  Truth be told, I would have quit a month ago, but for the fact that I needed all the paycheck I could get!  And I've stashed enough vacation time away that my last check will be pretty flush.  Good thing, because I'm pulling out the plastic to pay for the trailer, the gas, and the cheap hotels.  Three days on the road with no access to my blog!  How the hell will I survive?  I'm worried, too, because it sounds like I'll be the last of the new people to arrive.  Maybe I'll be known as "the mysterious girl from Texas" and everyone will want to be my friend.  Who knows. 
 
There are so many things to be worried about, it's hard to choose just one to focus on.  Last night I tried Tequiza and a bubble bath to distract myself.  I think it was a bad call.  I drank too much and ended up depressed and hot.  In both the literal and figurative senses.  The blog is probably not the most appropriate place to share it, but I really need some action.  Sex is the best tension-breaker that I can think of.  It's relaxing, provides an excellent workout, relases excess emotion, and nearly always leads to a good night's sleep.  And it's ever so much better with a nice, smart guy to share it with.  Sigh.
 
Well, now that the reader knows more than they wanted to, I will shut up and get back to non-work.  I'll be out of here by 3 today, I know it.  I'll use packing as an excuse, and then I'll go home and read O magazine and watch Sex and the City and worry about whether or not The Guy will want to get together this weekend.  Sounds like fun!
-Peacegrrl

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Impatience

Must-read for today: Jim Wallis's commentary about Jerry Falwell and the religious right on Sojo. It's incredibly refreshing to have someone criticize the fact that conservative Christians seem to catagorize "morals" only in terms of who gets an abortion and whether or not it's okay for two people who love each other to get married. Never mind corruption, poverty, and unjustified war. This article really blew me away. Thank God for people like Jim Wallis, who fight the psycho far-righters who give Christians a bad name.

As for the anxious title of my blog, well, that word seems appropriate for the way I've been feeling (and acting) lately. My friend A and I went out to dinner last night and she said that I was so jumpy she was starting to think I was in a hurry to get away from her. I guess it's all about this damn move. I'm a nervous wreck because it's so close and I feel like there are too many loose ends that aren't going to be tied off. Time is ticking away, and I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. The Guy adds a new dimension of impatience. Why couldn't I have met him a year ago? I'm actually seeing someone who I'm not afraid to be myself with, and who seems okay with that, emotional baggage and all. And--BAM! It will practically be over before it begins. I work, he works, and we both have social lives, so that amounts to us maybe getting together one or two more times before I'm out of here. And what happens after that? I have no idea, if anything. So I'm fidgety over that, wondering when we'll meet up again, while simultaneously doing the early relationship thing: agonizing and overanalyzing over whether or not he really likes me (which ALL women do, no matter how comfortable with ourselves we profess to be). There is WAY too much going on right now and I feel like I'm about to explode!

So what's a girl to do? Perservere, I guess. What else is there? Take it one minute at a time. I'll be fine, I know, and I'll be glad I decided to move, once I get there. Everything will work out for the best. I have to keep telling myself that or I'll go nuts! In the meantime it's my job to keep the hysteria at bay.
-peacegrrl

Monday, July 12, 2004

Petition

PLEASE sign Tom Mauser's petition to extend the ban on assault weapons. Tom's son was killed at Columbine. Thanks...
-pg

Sunday, July 11, 2004

My posts are too long...

So I think I should make them shorter. My babbling habit must be curbed. I've actually discovered that technically, a blog is a place to comment on what you see on the web, while an online journal is where you're supposed to go on and on about your life. So maybe I'm misusing my blogging powers. Too bad. This is easy and I'm lazy!

Speaking of babbling, I went on the third date with The Guy (notice he's a GUY, not just a BOY! I'm growing up! It's so exciting!) and I was my usual nervous self. And those of you who know me are well aware that nervousness, with me, leads to babbling. And off I went. That's why it's a good thing I read a lot and stay well-informed about the world. It lends a sort of pseudo-intelligence to my babbling, and, I suppose, makes it bearable. He seemed cool with it. He obviously must be, because he continues to want to see me. I'm starting to get bummed about the whole thing. I mean, I can see that this really might be the beginning of something--that is, if I were sticking around. Since I'm not, I'm not sure where it's going, if anywhere, and the abbreviation is sad. But it's good to remember what it's like to date. And it's REALLY good to actually date, not just use eating and watching movies as the precursor to sex. I'd almost forgotten that people actually do that! How refreshing.

Now for the real "blog" part of this entry. Check out Beliefnet. There are so many groovy things about this site. The "Belief-o-matic" will tell you where you stand, spiritually (you may be very surprised with the results). There are communities for practically every religion imaginable, information on meditation, news, stuff on natural medicine, and even "SoulMatch," a new matchmaking tool (haven't checked it out yet, though). And there's a whole section on faith and politics. I'm discovering how incredibly important it is for spiritual progressives and liberals to speak the hell up. The only voice for faith right now is coming from the right, and that's bullshit! Contrary to popular belief, Dubya is NOT the Jesus of the 21st century! Anyway, back to the subject at hand, Beliefnet is cool, check it out.

And that's all for today, folks! Two more weeks until the big trip, and I'm sure they will be eventful, so check back often, you five faithful readers!
-pg

Friday, July 09, 2004

Friday!

What can I share today? Well, first off, I want my blog to be as cool as this one. Funny, insightful, and very, very twentysomething. Plus I linked to this hilarious blog about people who deserve a beatdown. Read it and you'll laugh your ass off.

It's friday, and who knows what the weekend will bring? My sister is allegedly coming to visit, but I haven't heard from her in over 24 hours so I have the feeling she's going to cancel. I'm hoping to hang out with K-dog at some point, and the former-mystery-guy. I think I like this guy, which is both very cool and rather depressing! I leave town in two weeks. Sometimes timing just absolutely sucks. And I've decided that I'm terrible at dating. It's all such a damn game, when you think about it. When you realize that you like someone, you're not supposed to be obvious about it because that means you're easy. If you don't like them, you can't be obvious about that either, because that's rude. There's nervousness, and distress over what to wear (which I think is absolute bullshit and I don't know why I buy into it). There's the whole "will-he-call-should-i-call-him-what-if-he-doesn't-really-like-me-after-all-damn-and-i-thought-he-was-nice-i-guess-i'll-die-alone-after-all" female melodrama thing. And don't get me started on the whole sex thing. Don't you just love hormones and the dance that goes along with them--will we have sex? How soon is too soon? Three dates? Four? Am I a slut if I do it earlier than that? Will the relationship be doomed? Can we talk about sex? And of course when you get further along, it gets worse: how much sex have you had? Protected sex? When was your last HIV test? Modern times are a PAIN IN THE ASS. Why can't it be like the sixties when everybody was screwing everybody else and nobody cared? I take that back, that's kind of gross. But anyway, getting to the point of this ramble, what frustrates me about dating and the whole American social ritual is how artificial it seems to be. We are so afraid to just be who we are. At least I am. I have a tendency to tell people EVERYTHING way too soon, and that always leads to me getting fucked over in some way. So I try to hold back, and I end up sounding like an asshole.

Enough of that. I saw a good movie last night, "House of Sand And Fog." Don't watch it if you're into that fairy-tale-ending thing, though--it's depressing. I went to bed depressed, and then woke up to Senator Rockefeller reporting on the Senate Intelligence Committee's report on pre-Iraq intelligence. Turns out that it should be called pre-Iraq BULLSHIT. "A massive intelligence failure." He said that if Congress had known then what we know now about how fucked up our information was, they never would have voted to authorize the use of force in Iraq. Well, NO SHIT. I'm sure the Republicans will put a lovely spin on the issue, "at least we got Sadaam out, everyone is happier now." Right. They're thrilled. So are the hundreds of Americans grieving for their sons and daughters who died for faulty intelligence. Whoo-hoo for America! I love my country, but I hate it when we blindly follow and refuse to THINK.

Okay, as I've mentioned, I'm not smart enough to do the political commentary thing so I'd better stop. It's Friday, time to be happy! And I've gone on long enough, so goodbye for now...
-peacegrrl

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Smart stuff

In response to the overwhelming demand (okay, not really, only two people that I know of actually read this thing), I've decided to add a new feature to Peacegrrl's World: PolitiBlogs. See, I'm a liberal, but I'm not always particularly well-spoken (or written, as the case may be). There are legions of progressives out there who are smarter than I am. There's no need for me to compete. And besides, this blog is supposed to be a whine about my life, not a political commentary (I'm not nearly intelligent enough to take on the task). So I'm going to create a list of blogs that I've seen that say it a lot better than I ever could. I've looked at all of these blogs, and they're smart (no stupid grammatical errors), well-written (meaning they back up what they say), and, in some cases, pretty damn funny. I'm not going to agree 100% with all of them, but let's face it, they're going to be fairly one-sided. Hey, I'm not a reporter, and I have no obligation to be fair and balanced! So look for this new feature to be added soon...as soon as I get back from lunch.

Anybody want some of the latest Peacegrrl News? Well, I spent a record-breaking four full days with my family this weekend, which was fun, refreshing, and about one day too long. I love my family, I truly do. But let's face it: going home when you have PMS is NEVER a good idea. The best thing about the weekend (besides the food, of course) was the bonding time with my mom and sister. And I spent some quality time with Mimi the Wonderdog. Weird to think that I probably won't be back again until Thanksgiving or Christmas. Let's see, other headlines of note: I reserved a U-Haul and packed two more boxes. The move is inching closer. I also met the mystery guy, who is very nice, and unfortunately I will probably begin forging a meaningful friendship with him just as I'm getting ready to take off. Other noteworthy events: my friend Lisa has started a blog! So far it only has one entry, but I'm looking forward to a regular dose of Lisa wisdom. I'm a firm believer that everyone should have a blog. Most of them are crappy, and nobody really reads them, but it is highly cathartic to send your deep thoughts out there. It's the modern-day message in a bottle. And that's all for now, folks...
-Peacegrrl

Thursday, July 01, 2004

And the verdict is in...

Well, I'm sure that the whopping three people who read this blog are waiting to read what I thought of Fahrenheit 9/11. And I've hesitated to say anything...because I don't think I'm smart enough to put into words even HALF of the things this film made me think and feel.

Conservatives and the Fox News Network are practically on fire, pointing out any inconsistency, "inaccuracy," and ambiguous statement they can find. Rumors abound that the conservatives are actually funding a movie to be titled "Michael Moore Hates America." Ultra-conservative groups are lobbying theatres to revoke the first amendment and refuse to show this movies--and in many cases, they have been successful. Did the King Ranger Cinema in Seguin show F 9/11 last week? How about the Cinema 10 in Huntsville? Don't think so. Dubya spokespersons have denounced the film as false (even though they haven't seen it, of course).

But thousands of us decided to keep our mouths shut, line up at the theatres, and see it for ourselves. What we saw was footage we'll never see on CNN. Questions we'd never thought to ask. Crowds of like-minded individuals trying to get a handle on what's going wrong in this country. And when the movie was over, we applauded.

I'll leave it to the experts to write the reviews: military and 9/11 families, the New York Daily News, and Roger Ebert. Was the movie factual? Check out The Ithaca Times for a fact-check that's a little less biased than that Bill O'Reilly asshole. Go see the movie, and when you leave the theatre so angry and overwhelmed that you're shaking, come home and log onto Stop Bush in 2004.com to find out what you can do.

The movie isn't perfect; there are a few bones I'd like to pick with Mr. Moore (what was with the stereotyping of countries like The Netherlands during the "Coalition of the Willing" segment?). But the bottom line is that it makes you think, and that's the point. This country that's supposed to be "for the people" really has nothing to do with us, and it's time to change that. As long as people like Michael Moore ask the hard questions and tell us the things we didn't really think we wanted to hear, maybe there's still some hope for us.
-pg