The Zen of Stupidity

I wrote this in a journal sometime in August and unearthed it last night. I think I may have been onto something. My question is, who was that person? Where has all of that optimism and insight gone in the last eight months?

8/11/05
How many things in this life do we leave undone for fear that we'll look stupid? And in spite of all our grown up, mature inhibitions, how often do we end up feeling stupid anyway?

Coming off of the heels of a harrowing attempt at love, I'm feeling a little stupid these days. I certainly look stupid! I looked stupid in love, with my silly smile and failure to process any thoughts not related to The One. And now, out of love, I look even stupider, with my deflated hopes and puffy eyes.

But that, I realize, is the juice of life. It's the good stuff. The taking risks, taking plunges, believing in the unknowns. This is what life is about. It's running out and banking on the highly unlikely, fully aware that we're going to look and feel stupid when it's all said and done. If I go through each day deciding what NOT to do for fear that people will laugh or I'll feel silly or embarassment will stain my cheeks, then why get out of bed? What have I gained if I haven't risked a thing?

Wisdom is finding a place in life where you don't care how stupid you look. This is maturity. This is happiness. We should all strive for the zen of stupidity.