Friday, October 29, 2004

Is it the apocalypse?

I swear, I just looked out the window and the sky is black. So much for schlepping up to the office to pick up my paycheck...on second thought, I'm broke. I'll bring an umbrella. Seriously, though, the weather is gross. Good thing I don't have any big plans tonight. I was SUPPOSED to go see a show with a very nice guy I just met, but I have to do the staff bonding thing. I'd better get into the the spirit, too...my weak attempt at "teambuilding" will definitely bomb if it's obvious that I don't want to be there, either!

So this poor resident just came into my office soaking wet and very irritated...he got lost on the way to Judicial Affairs. Now he's REALLY a nervous wreck about his hearing. I think sometimes I'm too nice to some of these kids...I just feel sorry for them because they don't have a clue. I remember being 18 and wanting to party--and I definitely did my share of it. I never got caught, though, so I guess I feel the need to be kind of understanding to the people who do. And I know if I sit there and lecture them, I won't get through. Empathy is everything in what I do. Unfortunately, I get way too wrapped up in some of the crap that happens around here...and I find myself getting a little lost. I finally hung out with somebody I don't work with last night, and I find myself really hoping that I'll hear from him again. Not just because he's a cute guy and I had a good time. But because it would be so awesome to have a relationship--friendship or otherwise-- that isn't centered around work. Bleh....this really is quarter-life crisis.

What a downer. Let's talk about something more upbeat. I knit my first hat this week! I'm such a damn nerd. Now I'm making a matching scarf. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but when I get stressed out, I make scarves...so now I have something like fifteen of them. I don't know why I don't just branch out and make a damn sweater...

Alrighty, I seem to be out of things to say so I'll shut up for now.
-peacegrrl

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Countdown To Insanity!

The little "election countdown" picture on the right-hand side of this page is starting to freak me out. One week left. Holy shit. What ever will I talk about after it's all decided? Okay, you're right, I do plenty of non-political bitching and ranting, but still. The campaign has provided so much fodder for intellectual banter, both in the real and virtual worlds. After it's all said and done, the bottom line is that half of America is going to be really, really pissed off. And then a few days later we'll get over it and go on about our daily business. It'll be the end of an era. They say it's too close to call in Ohio right now, and from the way it's looking with all of the early-voting problems, I hope that there isn't any mass hysteria when the numbers come in and they're only a few thousand apart. I hope that both candidates exhibit some grace and don't insist on a recount and Supreme Court intervention and hold us all in suspense until Christmas. For better or worse, let's just get the damn thing over with.

Having said that, good grief, I hope Kerry can win this thing. I went to see Michael Moore on Sunday night, how fabulous is that? I don't always agree with the guy, but I will tell you, what a speech he can give. A perfect combination of humor, optimism, and sharp (though definitely skewed) observation, in a language that the everyday person can understand. Yeah, he gets on his high horse, but he admits it. You listen to him and you think maybe there's hope for this country yet. It's so relieving to be surrounded by the pro-choice, super-liberal likeminded. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too far to the left, but then I realize, you know, most Americans are like me--they just don't always want to admit it.

Well, I'm babbling without much of a purpose so perhaps it's time for a subject change. The scariest movie ever is playing on channel 10 all week, I guess in tribute to Halloween, and I wonder, how many Exorcist nightmares will I have this month? It's a sick fascination I have with this movie. Every time I watch it, I get insomnia for a week, and when I do manage to get a little sleep my dreams are full of devil people spewing pea-soup puke. I know--there's so much hype, but how scary can it really be? But watch it alone in your apartment in the dead of night, people. And yet I'm always tempted to put it on--after all, scares aside, it's a pretty good movie. The plot is intriguing, the acting isn't half bad, and the general spookiness really gets into your head. It's definitely not the horror movie of the new millenium, but it proves that good old-fashioned psychological terror is much more effective than a billion dollars worth of CG special effects. So will I be able to resist temptation and stay away from the scariness in favor of sweet dreams and a good night's sleep? Or will Halloween mischief get the best of me? We shall see...

Speaking of Halloween, did anybody know how big a deal this stupid holiday is in Ohio college towns? From what I've heard, all the furies of hell break loose at the downtown bars. We're doubling up duty coverage in all of the residence halls, and the police are setting up as though it's riot time. What's the deal? Where I'm from, if you're that excited about Halloween you go down to Sixth Street in Austin. Otherwise it's just another day. Maybe because on Oct. 31 it's still freakin' 90 degrees outside and it's too hot for people to feel like being crazy. Who knows. I'll just tell you that I'm dreading this weekend--or rather, I'm dreading Monday morning, when I get to process the fifty or so resulting discipline cases. Maybe during my meetings with the "bad kids" I'll ask some philosophical questions and try to get to the bottom of all of this Halloween madness.

This post has absolutely no point. As an english major they tried to teach us the importance of sticking to a clear topic in our essay writing, and here I am, disgracing my degree and spewing out whatever comes to mind. My advisor would be horrified.
-pg

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Bush debate notes...and why the Christian Coalition rocks my world!

He was scribbling away last Wednesday night, gathering his thoughts and preparing for his next response. So what on earth was Bushie writing? Facts and figures? Witty comebacks? A shopping list? Well, someone thought the American public needed to know, so the notes were swiped, put on the internet, and we can all see for ourselves. Pretty cool, don't you think?

Speaking of politics, the wacky folks at the Christian Coalition hit the campus this weekend, sticking brochures in the windshield wipers of all of us freaks with Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers. At first I was pissed; I'm not a fan of these people. They dare to call themselves "pro-Family," but what I think what they really do is pressure our leaders to legislate morality and abuse the name of God for their own personal agendas. I didn't want their stupid glossy three-page tract, full of candidate-by-candidate comparisons and a scoresheet telling us who to vote for. But then I took a second glance...and the magic happened right before my very eyes: there were all of the Ohio candidates for the house and senate, and a breakdown of where they stand. Who's against the Federal Marriage Amendmant, who opposes overturning Roe v. Wade, who thinks gun control is a good idea, and who doesn't want to drain public schools of the money they so desperately need by pouring funding into voucher programs...organized into neat little color-coded columns. What an awesome coincidence! I'm new to Ohio, you know, and as I ponder who (besides Kerry) to vote for, I've been wondering how to find out which candidates are pro-choice, pro-gun control, and non-homophobic. And holy cow, the answers appeared right on dirty windshield of my truck--highlighted in red, no less! So thanks, Christian Coalition. Since you've done all of the research for me, I can spend more time with my gay friends, or even worse, surfing that evil Campaign for Women's Lives site.

Seriously, I get both angry and depressed when groups like this try and convince people that if they dissent, then they can't really be Christian. A lot of folks would probably read my little blog and dub me the antichrist. But I'm proud to be a Christian Liberal--and yeah, there is such a thing. There are those of us out there who are sick of distilling Christianity into two issues: abortion and who should have the right to get married. We care about crazy, offbeat stuff like poverty, job losses, the number of Americans without health care, and the racial divide in this country. We have this wild idea in our head that Jesus would never support unwarranted war, corporate outsourcing, or tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. I can't plug the Sojourners website enough--Jim Wallis is out there telling American that we know voting for Bush isn't validation of our love of God. We're here, we're organized, and we're voting. The best thing we can do is let our voices be heard and refuse to blindly follow.

And so ends the babble for today. I'm bored, hungry, and off to find a cookie.
-pg

Friday, October 15, 2004

How do you deal?

Is it PMS, or just depression? Hard to tell. Today is the 15th, but it may as well be Friday the 13th for all the hell I've been catching at work. First off, in the midst of dealing with a 2-week long crisis with a student, I let a few other seemingly less-important issues slide...which doesn't appear to have gone over well with The Boss. She said not to worry about it. And I don't think I should. After all, the crisis in question was pretty damn big--so big I don't dare blog about it in detail, so if you want to know what happened, you'll just have to call me and ask. But I still feel like a big fuck-up. It's so hard to keep up with the crap that happens in these two buildings. If I had a master's degree, I'd be paid as an RHD II, and I'd have an assistant hall director. But instead I'm paid as an RHD I, but put in an RHD II area--because supposedly I have the chops for it, according to The Boss. But do I? Can I really handle the stuff that's been coming down over the past few weeks? Three years at a rich-kid school seems like it would toughen you up. But it hasn't. My kids have psychological problems the likes of which I've never seen, parents who contact me more than they do (literally, today is the first workday in over 2 weeks during which I haven't either met with or talked on the phone with somebody's mom), and a fairly vicious criminal bent. Is it the new generation? Or am I just a big wuss?

And it's that fabulous time of the month--the new moon, and PMS. So I feel even MORE incompetant, unnattractive, and fragile than normal. It's a Friday night, it's freezing outside, gray, and raining, and every one of my friends has dinner plans--and none of them include me. Hello homesickness. How do people deal when they feel this way? Some of us hit the bottle, some hit the kitchen, and I have a friend who was so stressed out yesterday that he went out and bought 5 sweaters. I guess my strategy is simple: go home, put on the grubbies, order a pizza, and pop in a depressing DVD. A good cry will probably do the trick and get me out of my funkiness. I have every reason to be happy and feel good, and I know that this week has been unusually tough. Better times to come. (And if you're alarmed at the number of times this blog seems to make reference to how bummed out I am, don't freak--I tend to write when I'm feeling like crap, as opposed to when I'm in decent spirits...peacegrrl isn't in the throes of misery or anything.)

-a very pissy peacegrrl

Monday, October 11, 2004

Graduate school headaches

Holy crap, I'm stressed again. Every time I start thinking about my future and the inevitable work that I must do to get beyond my live-on, haunted-by-undergrads, up-all-night existance, I end up with the beginnings of a damn migraine. I wonder, what was so bad about South Texas that I couldn't stick it out for three more semesters to finish my damn degree in a perfectly good program? Why did I feel the need to move 1,200 miles away and start a fresh journey down the grad school road, which we all know is paved with pissy Registrar's Office people and red tape? Granted, free tuition was a perk--three semesters or not, I was still at least $6k away from my Tx State M. Ed. Bleh. I've worked it out that if the 36 hours I need to take are offered at the times and in the sequence that I need them, I may be able to graduate by May 2006. That's nice. Of course what are the odds that things will work out that way? This is my life, people, and we all know what that means: Murphy's Law (honestly, they ought to change it to Peacegrrl's Law) reigns supreme.

And I didn't get any damn sleep last night. It's becoming a typical Sunday night ritual, probably because of how much I screw up my sleep schedule every weekend. AND I have this stuffy-nose thing, and I can't tell if it's allergies, sinuses, or an impending cold. Add that to the fact that I had to talk to yet another parent this morning whose child is incapable of working out her own freaking roommate problems, and you can imagine what a ball of joy I am this Monday! Grrrr. It could be worse. Actually, life IS okay, despite numerous indications to the contrary. (This is me working on the "positive outlook" thing). I'm in decent health, I bought three shirts this weekend that look damn good on me, and I may actually get to put some more money into the savings account this month. There, I feel better already. And eventually I WILL get my master's degree and I'll have a job I like that doesn't require me to put in 12-hour days. Okay, I guess I'm over my stress-fest now. Do men do this? Do they have six mood changes in the span of 10 minutes? Do normal women even do this? Maybe this is the apex of the quarter-life crisis. I'd hate to think it gets any crazier.

So I know I've mentioned in this blog that I'm a knitter, and I know at least one other person who reads this is too. And of course after reading last week's terrific post in which I put in a plug for Knitty, my favorite zine, EVERYONE'S going to discover the zen of two needles and a ball of yarn. Did you know that there are a million knitting blogs out there? If I wasn't so lazy and owned a digital camera (and actually believed there were legions of followers out there who wanted to see my latest scarf, sock, or pillow cover), I might start one myself. Anyway, there actually is a point to this babble. If you do anything that involves yarn--knitting, crocheting, playing with the cat, whatever--check out Peace Fleece. I love these people--they sell yarn that's a mixture of wool from their farm in Maine and international high-conflict hot spots, like Isreal, the West Bank, and the Czek Republic. They work with craftspeople all over the world to foster cooperation, good will, and kick-ass yarn. And check out the Baghdad Blue shade, because they're donating the proceeds to a community in Isreal where Palestinians and Isrealies live and work together. Really. Such a place exists.

Okay, I've ranted, gotten over my stress, and done my part for world peace. So I guess I should use the remaining 50 minutes of time in my office to do something "productive." Later...
-pg

Friday, October 08, 2004

So, it's Friday.

And I have nothing particularly interesting planned. Well, a trip to Sam's Club is in the works, but buying in bulk doesn't exactly scream "Yay for the weekend!"

Yeah, so I just consumed a really gnarly amount of spinach dip and now I feel sick. Maybe I need to go back to South Beach or Weight Watchers or whatever. Why does food have to be SO good? And why can't we be like those Polynesian countries where excess weight is considered to be beautiful and symbolic of prosperity? Here all the hip rich people pay plastic surgeons and personal trainers thousands of dollars to look like they're starving. What the hell is wrong with this country?

Enough of that. I'm still working on the positivity. Thanks to my buddy Lisa, I'm doing a "gratitude list" thing. Yes, it sounds cheesy and new-agey and very Oprah, but I actually kind of like it. It's nice to spend a few minutes a day thinking up things that I'm actually not bitching about! So here it is, Peacegrrl's Gratitude Journal. We'll see how long I keep it up.

Alrighty, so it's five till five, and that's close enough to the weekend for me.
-pg

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

I am woman, hear me roar...

So did you know that if Roe V. Wade is reversed, a not-so-unlikely proposition if Bushie gets four more years and picks up another anti-abortion Supreme Court justice, thirty US states have mechanisms in place that would ban abortion within the year? Yup-- it's true. Scary thought. And one more reason to get off the couch and vote next month. We all have different views about abortion--some think it's an abomonation, others use it as a form of birth control. But I think the bottom line, and the reality, is that the way you deal with it is between you and God. And criminalizing abortion and sending it to the back alleys will lead to coat-hanger surgery and dead women. Call me crazy, but that doesn't seem so "pro-life" to me.

So in defiance to this chilling idea, and in celebration of all things womanly, here are my favorite neo-feminist sites I've stumbled on to as of late:
1. Bust magazine. Absolutely fantastic. Anybody want to buy me a subscription? The "boobtique" is loaded with good grrl stuff, and the "girl wide web" is a portal made just for us--tons of groovy links. And send all your girlfriends a free BUSTcard.
2. Chubby Girl Brigade. I can't help but fall instantly in love with a blog whose slogan is "you can have a tummy and still be yummy."
3. Good Vibes. I've been a devotee of this site ever since it was featured on the Sunday Night Sex Show. It's a fantastic zine full of sex from the woman's perspective. And the antique vibrator museum is pretty funny, too.
4. Knitty. Pick up some needles and join the stitch-and-bitch revolution--you'll be glad you did. Knitting is supposedly the new "zen" activity for the under-35 crowd. Not sure about all that. But it's not just for little old ladies anymore. Knitty is loaded with hip, modern patterns, knitting advice, etc. If you're not crafty, send Grandma the link and get her to whip together a "Banshee" guitar strap. Rock on.
5. Jennifer Weiner. If you haven't read Good In Bed yet, what the heck are you waiting for? Weiner is one of the best authors to hit pop fiction in forever. She's above the whole "chick-lit" genre--a little too smart and biting for it. And her thick-chick wit rocks my world.

Well, that's all for today--my workday has ended and I'm getting a cold, so feel sorry for me. More later!
-pg