I'm a bit pained right now. Call it part 23 of my never-ending quarterlife crisis, but I'm trying to figure out what purpose my life serves. I need perspective and some suggestions. Right now I seem to live for sorting out the messes of sniveling 18-20 year-olds who drink too much, smoke too much pot, and have, for the most part, oblivious parents who are content to keep shelling out the $2500 a semester for their kids to keep living in these spiffy halls. And I have to say, I'm feeling a little empty. I've still got my youthful idealism, and I don't want to wake up five or ten years for now and find that it's all gone and I never did anything with it.
The way I see it, the people I work with are in good shape. Most of them are the sons and daughters of well-off, college educated parents. They're part of that wacky millenial generation, which means that they have been pampered and coddled for most of their lives and aren't used to toughing it out on their own. A lot of them have big problems--I'm talking everything from depression to hardcore substance abuse issues--but let's face it--they're in college. They must be doing semi-ok to get here.
Being a first-generation college grad and a cynical, independant Generation X-er to boot, I'm finding it harder and harder to relate to some of my charges. And harder and harder to feel sorry for them. There are a lot of people out there who really seem to need more help than these kids. And I'm questioning the direction my life is headed in. Do I want to spend the next twenty, thirty years in higher ed administration, playing politics and hitting glass ceilings and working with people who are in the field because it's convenient and comfortable, not because they actually care about it? Should I stop kidding around and actually consider law school, and go to work for Legal Aid or something? Is the Peace Corps calling me? Sometimes I feel like I'm being drowned in too many choices, and I'm so terrified of what may or may not happen that I'm frozen in one spot.
Blahhhh...had to get that out. Sorry to be so profound. Seems if I'm not worrying about men or the state of the nation, I'm dealing with some kind of internal strife. I have an endless capacity for worry and discontent. It's a rare talent, I tell you. Happy thoughts and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated...
-peacegrrl
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1 comment:
First, welcome back :) But I wouldnt worry to much about where your life is going to go, in the sense that you feel useless. I think everyone our age goes thru the same feelings.
I think its important to find your niche in life though. Obviously there are things that are important to you. You just have to find out how you can go out and impact those things. If politics are important, join a PAC, or volunteer to help with a campaign.
Sometimes doing nothing is overwhelming :) But the only one stopping you from doing something, is you :)
good luck
nick
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