Blogging from the lone star state

I realize that I have been remiss in terms of blog consistency...the half-dozen faithful readers of peacegrrl's world are surely lamenting the fact that it's been over a week since I've posted. I have a good excuse. I was dealing with the end-of-semester funfest that is Winter Closing. It was all worth it, though to see that beautiful sight on Saturday morning...an empty parking lot. So now it's "vacation" time and I'm back in the south, where the folks are polite and the temperatures are bearable. Six inches of snow...not really my bag! But I'm happy to say that after landing on my ass no less than twice during the first 24 hours of snow, I bought myself some fancy L.L. Bean boots and it hasn't happened again. I'm acclimating, slowly but surely. Now that I'm mildly used to it, I've headed for the 70-degree Texas weather so that when I go home in three weeks I can experience the shock and misery all over again!

I have nothing exciting to report on the man front...Blind Date boy and I have gotten together a few times since the last post, and I'm still not sure where we're going, if anywhere. And I can't decide if I care enough to actually ask. I'm visiting my married friend in Houston right now and while I'm cerainly not quite ready to commit to the idea of sex with only one person for the rest of my life (not to mention having to share both the bed and the bathroom), marriage seems like a pretty sweet deal in a lot of ways. A built-in date, someone who will drive when you don't want to, regular sex (well, I guess that depends...) and no more cooking for one. Hmm. It bears consideration.

Okay, better go, getting up early to head to the funhouse known as my mom's house. Whoo-hoo! I'll do my best to blog from the home base and pass along some holiday dysfunction for all to enjoy. Happy Christmas/Channakah/Kwaanza/Solstice/Festivus! (Did I forget anyone?)
-pg

A few more things...

First of all, why in the hell should I care about this? A rich white guy kills his wife and unborn child. Yes, it's sad. But poor people do it all the time and no one cares. Who gets to decide what's "news" and what isn't? And why is Peterson's death sentence the lead headline, with "Seven Marines Killed In Iraq" buried underneath it? This country is so fucked up...

Hey, at least my no eye-contact "date" wasn't this bad. Yikes.

Winter break bootie-call updates: Cute grad school boy isn't going to happen, and I'm pretty sure The Guy is going to (wisely, though disappointing for me) choose fidelity. Although he was im-ing me from his girlfiend's place earlier...he totally misses the peacegrrl lovin'. Damn the 1,200 mile distance! So it's looking like I'll have to wait for a nice, stable relationship and table the idea of meaningless sex, at least for the time being.

That is all...
-pg

Oh, dear God.

It's here. Finally, after all of the hype and stories people tried to scare me with, after the extensive coat shopping and boot advice, it has arrived.

Snow.

So far I've only fallen on my ass once, but that's not exactly good news, since it's only been snowing since Saturday and there's only about an inch on the ground. How many more times will I eat it over the next three to four months? Should I start wearing knee and elbow pads? And although I've avoided it thus far, sooner or later I'm going to have to drive in it. Shit...

To my readers from the warmer climates, here's some fun stuff about snow. Yes, it's pretty and turns everything all white and it's fluffy and makes snowballs and you can go sledding down the hill on your cafeteria tray. Whoo-hoo. It's also slippery, gets dirty and gross, requires you to spend 20 minutes dusting off your car before you can go anywhere, stings when the wind blows it into your face, and causes you to slip and fall in front of people. So far I think I'm going to give the snow a thumbs-down. Remind me again why I moved here?

Other news--Mr. Blind Date (I really should give him a better nickname. I'll get right on that.) and I finally got together again on Saturday and spent a most enjoyable evening watching The Office, which, by the way, is seriously hilarious. No action for peacegrrl, so don't get excited. I've decided that I'm about 50/50 on whether or not I like him. He's very attractive and has a nice body, and he's into good movies, music, and TV. He has a fairly healthy sense of humor. However, he also makes very little eye contact, which irritates me to no end. What's up with that? Is it just a bad habit? A nervous thing? Or am I that ugly? No way, couldn't be. I looked hot that night. I also don't particularly care for the way he eats popcorn, or, how when I offered to hang up his coat, he just sort of tossed it at me. Am I being picky? Probably. It was really nice to spend some time with a non-work person, a rather hot one at that. I'm just doing my stupid second-guessing thing now...but I think maybe we're just doing the platonic thing. I don't want to go getting a crush if it's going to be a wasted effort! But it seems to early to ask for clarification...but then again, a blind date, by definition, assumes the person is indeed interested in dating, and subsequent meetings, I would imagine, should be assumed to be "dates" as well. Shit, shit, shit, what happened to arranged marriages?

That's okay. I will focus on non-sex/relationship issues and that will get me through! I have a coworker who needs some serious cheering up, so I'll work on that tonight. Work presents an onslaught of stressful last-minute crap that I have to take care of before the halls close this weekend and I finally get a much-deserved vacation. There should be plenty of distractions to keep my mind off of boy-girl games. I hope so. Let's face it, peacegrrl is boy-crazy. It's sad, but true...
-peacegrrl

Friday observations and babbles

See, lots of people agree with me! I like that Howard Dean is trying to kick some DNC ass. Maybe now we'll become a REAL party. How exciting would that be?

Okay, no more politics. Today is Friday and I have no plans. Tommorow I'm SUPPOSED to finally go out with Blind Date Guy again. Over the past three weeks we have had two planned dates and two cancellations. True, one was my fault, but one was totally his. If we don't go out soon I'm going to give up. Yes, he has been calling, and according to He's Just Not That Into You (my new dating bible, of course) this is a good thing. But unless we actually start going on dates, this is a relationship that exists only in theory. I don't need a phone buddy, for crying out loud! So we'll see if tommorow works out or there's some great excuse. And if we do go out, there's still the question of whether or not I actually like him. And whether or not we're dating or doing the friendship bullshit. Will a connection be made that's deep enough for me to cancel my winter-break bootie-call plans? Not that I have plans, exactly... There's this one guy I had a crush on in grad school, and two of my friends have informed him of said crush and also not-so-subtly let him know that I'll be around for a while this month (this is SO high school!), so we'll see if something develops there. Not that I'm a fan of anything long-distance, but I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship... And then, of course, I had originally hoped to line up a visit with The Guy in Austin over the break, but the advent of a new girl in his life has, much to my disappointment, thrown a wrench into that possibility. I'm not sure how serious they are....no, I won't be the other woman. If we do meet up, I'll just have to keep my hands off. The question is, would he be able to do the same and resist the Peacegrrl hotness? (<---positive self-talk! That therapist I had five years ago would be really proud!)

So, to stop talking about men for just a minute, I haven't even started on my Christmas shopping. Except for myself, that is. In fact, I just went out and spent so much money on yarn that I got a free tote bag. How scary is that? I was going to go to the mall tommorow but they're predicting snow and that scares me. Not sure I'll venture out. Maybe I'll stick with amazon.com. I did make some cute Christmas cards, though. (I'm starting to sound like pre-jail Martha Stuart. I need to get myself a life!) It's cold and dreary and depressing here and I think I have that SAD thing. Maybe I should drag myself to a tanning booth and pretend I'm in Florida. Three weeks in Texas, where a 75-degree Christmas day isn't rare, will probably be really good for me. How do people in Seattle survive?

Okay, I've been working on this post too long and I need to get something accomplished before I finish the workweek. Happy weekend!
-pg

Some stuff

So first of all, I'm going to bitch about today's weather. After a few weeks of nasty cold weather, the gods have smiled down and given us a 60-degree day. Unfortunately they've also given us 60-mph winds. Now come on. Is this necessary? I consider myself to be, well, a pretty solid girl. So when I walk outside and the wind knockes me off of my feet and blows me into the side of a building, that's a little scary. What the hell is this, a typhoon? Damn Ohio.

So new developments in the Peacegrrl manhunt...well, blind date #2 guy and I seem to be on the road to some kind of...something. At the very least, he's been calling on a regular basis and we are supposed to go out on Thursday. Does this mean a relationship is in the works? Who knows. In other news, I have been informed that The Guy (for those of you playing along, The Guy is the one I dated, got a big ol' crush on, and then moved away from so I could come to this crazy-assed state) now has a girlfriend. This is sad. I mean, yeah, he had no desire or intention to come to Ohio, and I couldn't turn down the job for a fledgling relationship. But it's still a bummer. Bleh. I guess whatever's meant to be is meant to be, right? Maybe this chick is his soul mate, and maybe blind date guy is mine. Or maybe when I get a master's and move back to Austin (that's this week's plan, anyway) the fates will bring us together. I am never a realist when it comes to men, remember. And then, finally, there's the cute coworker who doesn't know of the peacegrrl love. He's still cute, and still unaware. And alas, this is how it will more than likely remain. I've given up on the dating/sleeping with coworkers thing, remember?

Now to get to some kind of meaningful exposition...I've noticed that on my favorite blogs today, everyone seems to be talking about God. Normally I'd probably join the debate with one of my quasi-spiritual posts about my beliefs and why I have them. Maybe I'm just a little talked out on the subject. The last few guys I've dated have been, in order, an atheist, a theology/youth ministry major who sort of ignored the whole "no sex before marriage" decree, and two more atheists. At my last job, we were always talking God (God wants us to do this because we're a Christian university, yadda yadda yadda), and at this one, He's sort of off-limits. I have a lot of Catholic friends who do God once a week and on holidays, and then there's my father, who's so into his southern-baptist version of God that I refuse to allow my visits to him to overlap with a Sunday, lest I be dragged to church and lectured on how it's my duty as a single woman to find a good Christian man to lead me. I like to think God and I are pretty tight, and that He's more than a little irritated about how people keep using His name as justification for such horrible things. I understand why it turns so many people off of religion. I think of my relationship with Him as a fairly personal thing. Maybe religion says it's my duty to "save" people and bring them closer to God. But I'm not good at it. My feelings about faith come from the experiences I've had in my life that have lead me to believe, without a doubt, that He's there. I can't force people to see things through my eyes, and I can't prove anything. I just know I believe, and maybe the best "witnessing" I can do is just to be there for people in the hopes that they'll have faith in the goodness of people, if nothing else.

Now what other blog gives you simultaneous bitching, boy gossip, and spirituality? None that I know of. It's time for dinner, so I'm out...
-pg

Whoa there, democrats...

Heads up... This is one of my posts where I digress from my normal menu of complaints about men, my job, and the ridiculously freezing cold Ohio weather. I'm going political for the next paragraph or too. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Now, on to business. In times of adversity, it's natural for us to get a little jumbled up and forget our goals. Case in point: the Democratic party. We ran the wrong candidate, we got our asses beat, and now (in between continuing to bellyache about 2000 and opening our "i'm sorry" form letters from the Kerry campaign) we're starting to look ahead to 2008. There are a lot of rumors flying around about who we'll groom for the end of the Bush dynasty. And this is when it gets a little scary. We're bitter about losing, and in a hurry to get through this administration and move on to the next one, but we need to proceed with caution. Before we start tossing names around, let's think about what we really want from our next president.

What pisses me off about the Democrats is their lack of a clear party platform. I might not agree with Republicans, but no one ever accuses them of not making their agendas pretty clear. We know what the Republicans want to do: push forward in Iraq, put more conservatives in the Supreme Court so as to preserve (or re-instill) the "morals" of our country, increase military spending, protect gun rights, give tax breaks, solve the oil issue by drilling in the wildlife refuges. Ask a Republican if he's proud to be a conservative, and you'll get a pretty strong affirmative. They don't apologize for it. So why do we?

Democratic candidates are very nervous about making their agendas clear. They are so afraid of pissing off middle America with "liberalism" that I think they manage to alienate their left-wing base. Are Democrats pro-choice? Sometimes, sort of, but we prefer not to bring that up in speeches or debates that swing voters might watching. Do they want to raise taxes so that federal funding for welfare programs and health care will be adequate? Yes, but we prefer not to actually say that out loud. Gay marriage? Well, even though most of the US gay population belongs to our party, we can't say yes, because we'd lose too many votes, so let's split the difference and say civil unions are ok. Was Iraq a bad idea? Yes, even though most of us voted for it. See what I'm getting at? All we seem to be consistent on, as a party, is making sure we stand at the opposite side of whatever Bush wants. That, my friends, does not a succesful political party make. We need a clear platform, and a candidate who can be proud of his or her left-wing roots and yet have the personality and eloquence to appeal to the South and blue-collar Americans without talking down to them. Remember Clinton? I mean, before the whole intern-blue dress-cigar nastiness. He was a liberal, but he was also a good-old-boy. Someone we'd want to have a beer with. Kerry? Do you think Kerry actually drinks beer? Come on.

I keep hearing Barak Obama's name tossed around for 2008. This is exactly what makes the Republicans laugh about our party: our biggest hope for the future is a freshman U.S. senator. Don't get me wrong--I've been talking about Obama for a while, and I'm positive that his time will come. He's smart, personable, and and incredible speaker. He defines multicultural America. But he hasn't paid his dues yet. I don't think we should be looking for the next Mr. President. We need to get our act together as a party first. Let's not jump the gun and do what we did this time around: get so excited about bumping out the right that we put the cart before the horse and forget to shape a clear party platform. Then maybe we can run a candidate with some conviction.

Irritations

In the spirit of winter grinchiness, here are a few things that are pissing off the Peacegrrl today:

1. The rude guy at Einstein Bros. messed up my order today. Who puts turkey on an egg sandwich?
2. One of my friends is kind of getting on my nerves, and I feel guilty about being so irritated by it. I know we're supposed to love and support our friends no matter what, but is there some kind of "dumbass" clause included in that rule?
3. Early morning meeting with my least-favorite staff member tommorow...bleh. It's worse than bad coffee.
4. Female college students who dress up like sluts, wear too much makeup, and walk around with their stomachs hanging out even though it's only 35 degrees outside.
5. The male obsession/fascination with aformentioned college hoebags.
6. I really want Chipotle for dinner, but it's already dark, my tailights aren't working, and I'm not sure a delicious vegetarian burrito bol is worth the risk of being pulled over. Decisions, decisions...

Okay, I'm trying to keep a lid on the whole "negativity" thing, so I'll end it there, but really. It is SO time for a serious vacation...
-pg

Winter...blehhhh

So I have returned to Ohio after my six-day holiday in Texas. When I got on the plane on Monday morning, it was 70 degrees. And when I landed three hours later in Ohio, it was 35. Ick...I'm back in the land of bare trees and wind and general cold nastiness. It hasn't snowed yet (at least I wasn't here to see it) so I guess that's something to be happy about. Why don't they publish a manual of some kind for people like me who don't know how to deal with temperatures below 35? Really what I'm most afraid of, regarding the cold, is that when the sidewalks ice over I will slip and fall and people will laugh at me. That's it. I guess I'm shallow...

So, about the Texas Thanksgiving...good, stressful times with the family. It's strange to idealize "home" when you're far away and then when you get there, it's basically the same as when you left it--too many people under one roof, two dogs, and a crazy aunt. But the food was good, and Peacegrrl did indeed indulge. It takes a lot of carbs to maintain these curves, people! I did not hear from The Boy. I suppose that's finally over, and for the best. Besides, there are new dysfunctional relationships to be had! Blind Date guy has called a few times and who knows, we may actually meet again. I'm not sure how well-suited we are to each other, but he seems to be at least mildly amused by me so we'll see how it goes.

Other peacegrrl news...well, work sucks, but what else is new? I have a staff member I'd like to beat up, a few coworkers who annoy me, and a job that half the time I don't know how to do. I'd say I'm doing about average as far as the work world goes. I'm starting classes in the spring, and while the nerd in me is excited (oooh! School!), I'm not quite sure how I'm going to be able to balance the 50-hour workweek with the added stress of six hours of class and a ton of homework thrown into the mix. At least it's free. And maybe the whole "not having a life" thing will seem more convenient when I get even busier than I already am. However, the advent of me starting yet ANOTHER grad program means that I am getting ever closer to having to make the decision of what the hell to do with my life. I would be much more content to sort of float along taking classes and doing whatever I need to do to pay the bills...or better yet, marrying rich and staying home with the kids while I progress my supremely successful freelance writing career and eventually open up a bakery so all I'll do all day is make cookies. However, I suppose being an adult means doing adult things and having adult responsibilities. So decisions have to be made, and I'm not particularly good at that. Maybe I should be a high school guidance counselor. They don't seem to do a whole lot. Obviously mine wasn't very helpful.

On the bright side, it's almost Christmas baking time. I'm going to do my best to get into the holiday spirit, even though I'm not quite feeling it at the moment. I miss being a kid and getting giddy about Christmas carols and wrapping paper. These days it feels like the holidays aren't anything special--the folks at Wal-Mart are a little ruder than usual, but that's about it. But maybe if I break out the cookie sheets and put up some lights I'll get more into it. On Saturday we're putting on a winter gala for the neighborhood underpriveliged children, and my students are in charge of cookie-decorating. If 150 kids up to their elbows in red and green frosting doesn't get me in the chrismas mood, I suppose nothing will!

Alrighty, actual "work" beckons so I'd better go for now. Since I know three or four people are actually reading this on a regular basis, I'll try and be better about updating more often. Thanks for your interest in my silly life!
-pg

The Dating Minefield

Prepare yourself for some peacegrrl bitching. So I went on Blind Date # 2 for this fall on Saturday night. Some of you may be familiar with the fate of my last blind date. I'll bring the new folks up to speed: I met the guy for an hour of drinks and conversation, and was impressed. Unfortunately, he was not. I never heard from him again. I didn't even get the "gee thanks, but..." phone call. So unless the guy was hit by a bus, which I highly doubt, I was so unimpressive that further contact was deemed an unnecessary and unenjoyable waste of time. Oh well, his loss, right? RIGHT???

A little bummed, but not to be defeated, I dusted myself off and prepared to get back into the ring. I did some de-stressing, got a haircut and some cute shoes, and read He's Just Not That Into You for perspective. Then I was inspired to do a little housecleaning in the relationship realm. "I've been holding back because of The Boy debacle," I told myself. "Time to move on and see what happens." Now I was ready to get out there again.

If you've never had a blind date, it might not be easy to understand how complicated these things really are. First, there are the false hopes that you've built up based on the great rapport you've built with the person via your witty e-mail banter or even wittier phone banter. This is why I suggest doing the face-to face as early as possible, to minimize attachment before chemistry blows everything to hell. Then you have the safety factor-meet in a public place, don't have him pick you up. Keep it to coffee and drinks--this way if he's a freak, you're not stuck with him for a whole meal. And give yourself an out through the "courtesy page"--have a friend of yours call your cell about halfway through the date. If it's going well, you do the whole "Yes, yes, I'll call you back later" thing. If it's a fucking disaster, you say "Oh no! I'll be right there!" and make up some kind of emergency. Anyway, so your hopes are built up, you've taken precautions in case he's a serial killer, and now you get to deal with your own self- doubt. What if he thinks you're ugly? What if you arrive too early--he'll think you're overeager. Or you might be late, and he'll think you don't care. Or the scenario that I have nightmares about: he never shows up, meaning he either forgot, or took one look at you and ran like hell. All in all, blind dating is a miserable leap of faith that I try my best not to think about as I dive into the things one after the other.

Anyway, getting back to my point, Blind Date #2 started out badly. He was early and waiting for me, and I guess his expectations were high, because when I said hello and introduced myself, I swear I could FEEL the disappointment coming off of him. Really. This is not just my low self-esteem talking. It was palpable. We didn't even shake hands. And as soon as we got in line to order coffee (I paid for my own, by the way, which I've never done on a blind date), he says, "Just so you know, I need to leave in about an hour to go work out." Okay, it's 8pm on a Saturday night, and he's telling me he needs to go work out? This must be his version of the "courtesy page," and he's already invoked it. Ouch. Clearly this would be an evening to endure, not enjoy.

Surprisingly, although we did stumble around a bit during the first few minutes of small talk, it did get better. I guess I redeemed myself through intelligent chit-chat and observations about movies and my maniac residents, because at around 8:30, he stretches out and says, "I think I'll skip the workout tonight. It's too late anyway." And we continued our conversation, which was rather pleasant. We like a lot of the same things, we both have disfunctional families, he's a young 30 and I'm an old 25, and we're intellectually on the same page. But when I got home, the "will-he-call" dance was inevitable. Obviously I'm not attractive enough, otherwise he wouldn't have pulled that shit in the first five minutes. He was cute enough for me, but maybe I'm not as picky as some. Would this share the same fate as the last "date?" I got a "nice to meet you, have a good Thanksgiving if I don't talk to you before" e-mail today. I guess this means I got a decent grade? Will we meet up again, or is this it? How long until my next dunk in the blind-date swamp?

My point in all of this, faithful half-dozen readers, is that I'm sick of this game. And since I'm in my childbearing years and the biological clock is ticking and I'm surrounded by sub-teenagers and I want to find somebody to settle down with, I'm doomed to play it indefinitely. Blind-dating is probably not the best approach, but it's the only one I can see--it makes no sense to sit around and wait for him to find me, because the only people I come into contact with on a daily basis are eighteen-year-olds and coworkers (and though coworkers are fun to fantasize about/have illicit affairs with, we all know what a bad idea THAT turns out to be. Plus I'm in so much awe of the one I really like that I wouldn't DREAM of telling him in a million years!). This sucks! I'm starting to sound like Charlotte from Sex and the City, "I'm exhausted! I've been dating since I was 15! WHERE IS HE?" Where is that guy who likes curly hair, wicked curves, and baked goods? Who doesn't mind that I swear sometimes and don't like household chores? Who thinks the idea of a knitting feminist is adorable? Who will buy me Honey Brown when my supply runs out, watch lousy movies with me, and take me to concerts? Blehhhhh.... Yes, I'm a professional career-minded women. I realize there is more to life than men. I mean, really, I'm well aware.

It's just cathartic to bitch about what I don't have. In five years or so when I've settled down and started having kids, I'll probably bitch about how much I miss being single.
-pg

I wish I could be deep

Really, I do. I blog about whatever nonsense happens to be in my head at the moment. Then I read these other live journals where people are all profound and what not, with their poetry and their flowery descriptions of everyday life. I'm one of those creative writing people, too, but every time I try to get wordy and obscure, I think my stuff sounds stupid. Oh well.

Today is the day of the Great American Smokeout, and guess what? I'd really like a cigarette. Really, I'm doing fine since I quit for the fourth time--I think i'm at 9 weeks or something. I don't even think about it, until someone REMINDS me, and of course the American Lung Association or whoever is doing an excellent job of that today. Damn. At least we're about to put all these smoking restrictions on the campus buildings, where you can only smoke at one exit. It's a good reason not to start again, since our "smoking door" is as far as possible from my apartment. Not that the whole money and health thing isn't a good deterrant, too. It's just that old-fashioned laziness is the best aversion therapy I can think of!

New subject. Why are my residents so bad? Why do I have over sixty write-ups in the last two months? Granted, once they meet with me they rarely get into trouble again, but why are they getting into so much damn trouble in the first place? And when did I, the rebel, the pain in the ass, the one who has always questioned and defied authority (often to my detriment), become "the man"? I'm the bad guy! I'm the one who sits across the desk, frowning and asking for explanations and handing out sanctions. I'm the "complaintant" at the judicial hearing. Holy hell. What's happened? I don't want to be a responsible authority figure. I want to go back to my happy days as a screw-up. I'm getting old, I'm losing my tolerance for stupidity, and I find myself sounding more and more like my mother. Bleh. Adulthood blows.

Let's talk about a few happy things, like the fact that tonight is Apprentice night, and last night's Jack and Bobby was fabulous, as always. When did I start watching all of this damn TV? Oh, and Modest Mouse on Saturday Night Live last week kicked ass. I'm contemplating my next CD purchase (I don't do the download thing...mainly because I still haven't gotten the internet set up in my apartment. But I like to pretend it's because I care so deeply about the rights of recording artists. Actually, most of the bands I like these days probably need every $12 CD sale they can get, so really I guess I'm doing the right thing. But that's fodder for another post.) Will it be Rufus Wainright? I'd also really like to pick up something by that Nick Drake, he's pretty cool. Or will I go for some earlier Modest Mouse? Or go mainstream and grab the new U2? And then again, my favorite Counting Crows CD was in a tragic accident involving being on my dashboard in the Texas heat. So will I instead re-purchase "This Desert Life"? Decisions, decisions. My mom has always held a general rule that you shouldn't buy yourself anything after the beginning of November, because Christmas is coming. I'm too selfish for all of that. So does anybody have any suggestions? New bands I should investigate? Or does anybody just want to declare their love for Peacegrrl by sending me a CD? Feel free to share...

So I think I've exhausted my random topic quota for the day, so I will close. Happy Thursday to all.
-peacegrrl

Bridget Jones has nothing on Peacegrrl

So okay, I'm a thick chick with an appreciation of British humor, so obviously I really enjoyed the first Bridget Jones. Then I went to see the second, and while I was entertained and dug the happy ending, I've had some time to reflect on my life as it compares to Bridg's. I've concluded that I think I really should be with Colin Firth. I mean, I'm way less nuts than Bridget, I'm definitely smarter, and while even the "chubby" version of Renee Zellwegger is a little less zaftig than me, I've definitely got better hair and a good complexion. I'm quirky! I say silly things in public! Where's my sexy British lawyer boyfriend?

Seriously, as I continue to navigate the "single young professional" battlefield, I wonder how valuable it is to be yourself. That's my credo when it comes to men. I don't really bullshit around, my online personal ad is as honest as I could make it (and back off, online personal ads are not indicative of desperation! YOU try working on a college campus and trying to meet men!), and when I go out on a date, I tell the truth. I'm told that all of this straightforwardness is eventually going to pay off, and movies like Bridget Jones reinforce the notion that the ticket to true love is be who you are. But then sometimes I look at myself and I think that what I see as quirky is probably more likely to be construed as ridiculous...and while that might work for Renee masquerading as a basket case, I'm not so sure it translates particularly well into reality.

But let's look at the upside. I'm a smart girl, I've got a good career going (even if it is a little stressful), I'm working the new short hairdo, and I have excellent taste in music. And while I may have a few more curves than some, I think I know how to put them to their best use. One thing that's nice about not being supermodel-beautiful is that you don't end up dating as many disaster areas. Usually when I go out with a guy, he's got some depth to him, which I suppose makes up for the fact that I'm not getting asked out every five minutes. (Way to put a positive spin on my lackluster social life!) I imagine it's better to spend a little bit of time with a few good guys than to waste hours upon hours on a bunch of losers.

My point, anyway, is that me and the thousands of other fairly average, curvacious, career-focused women out there are the real Bridget Jones's. We don't have to scarf down calorie-augmented diets to fill out our skeleton-thin bodies and get boobs--we were born with 'em. And while the sexy lawyer types don't always drop into our laps, the important thing is to realize that we deserve them, and if we quit settling for the leftovers and telling ourselves we should take what we can get, a hot guy with a brain must be out there waiting for us somewhere.

At least that's what I keep telling myself... :-)
-peacegrrl

Peacegrrl's Law

Shit never works out the way I want it to.

I had this epic decision-making moment last week involving a on-again, off-again toxic relationship. I wrote this fabulous letter (yeah, by hand, on PAPER) because I felt I needed to mail it off into the universe and seal the relationship's fate instead of relying on impersonal e-mail. Then I forgot to mail the letter. Then the guy came online and wanted to chat, and I mentioned that I had made the afore-mentioned big decision regarding our future. So he wanted to know what the deal was, and rather than belabor the point I started to explain it over IM, and then he had to go. Of course by this point I'd already started to get to the point, and then I got cut off, and then I felt stupid. So I ended up e-mailing the damn letter after all. What was going to be this cathartic, somewhat romantic step forward for me was reduced to a really akward conversation and a letter that looked good on paper and sounded really dumb in a yahoo e-mail message. That's what I get for being such a drama queen.

But really, I'm telling myself that moving on is a good thing. Cleaning out the closet, dusting off those things we hang onto even though they don't fit anymore or we realize that they never did--it's a good thing. Nobody wants to toss our their skinny jeans, because we just know, deep inside, someday the damn things are going to fit. And the same applies to men. Nobody wants to let go of their version of The Boy--that guy we love so much who will never, ever get a clue and love us back the way we deserve. Because then we've just given up, and who the hell wants to give up? But comes a time when you realize that the skinny jeans are just taking up space and holding you back--you don't look for anything better because you've already got something, and even though it doesn't fit you or your life, damn it, you put some time into it! And you still believe that eventually it's going to work out!

I don't want to take my silly metaphor too far. Really, I didn't say goodbye forever. I just laid down the law a little bit (Thanks so much, "He's Just Not That Into You.") But I know that on some level I've finally given up on the skinny jeans in my relationship closet. Who knows if I've made room for something better, or if he's going to wander back new and improved and ready to devote himself to me. But I'm not being fair to myself or anyone else I meet in the meantime if I don't move on and grow up. It sucks, but it's reality.

And in the interest of ending on a happy note, I'm glad to say that there are some really good guys out there--like the one I met a little too late, after I'd already decided to move away. Maybe he's the post-Boy guy for me, and the timing will eventually work itself out. Or maybe I keep stumbling into doomed "relationships" because the right one is still waiting up ahead somewhere. Who knows. It's not like me to be optimistic, but maybe there's something to it.

-an oddly introspective peacegrrl

Let's get happy again

Really, I guess it's not that bad. As a friend said the other day, "look on the bright side! Bush only has four more years to screw us!" I hope that we democrats don't get all bent out of shape and stop caring. Now, more than ever, we need to keep bitching and writing letters and generally making nuiscances of ourselves. And let's face it, if there's one thing I'm good at, it's being a big pain in the ass. That's what activism is really all about, isn't it?

So I'm gearing up for a big trip to Cleveland! Ok, I know, Cleveland is only about forty miles away from me, but still. I've never been, and I'm sorta excited. We're staying at a nice hotel, going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and technically it's a work thing, so it's all FREE! At the very least it means I won't be at work on Monday and Tuesday, and that's reason enough for some enthusiasm. Maybe I'll meet some hot Res Life professional who will sweep me off of my feet. Uh...yeah...I know most of the males in my field are gay, married, or scary, but a girl can dream. I'm getting so sick of meeting Mr. Not-Quite-Right, or Mr. Not-Right-Now. Or Mr. Never-Calls. You'd think I'd give up on the idea of men altogether. But when it comes to the opposite sex, I manage to dig out the little bit of optimism that I've got. To my detriment, of course.

Well, there are only two and half hours left in my workweek, so I guess I'd better make them count. I'll be sure to report next week on my Cleveland adventure. Until then...
-pg

Shit.

Well, it's over. What the hell will I rant about now? And I'm so pissed off at Ohio. We not only passed an amendment to ban gay marriage and eliminate domestic partner benefits, we let our state fall to Bush by less than 200,000 votes. What the fuck? Sorry for the profanity, but really. WHAT THE FUCK?

And don't even get me started on the "youth vote." Once again, the 18-30 age group proved themselves to be the lazy-asses that we are and showed up to the tune of 17%...that's right. After the huge increase in voter registration, you'd think we'd improve over our performance in 2000, but guess how many 18-30-year olds showed up four years ago? 17 fucking percent. No difference whatsoever. All the yelling and blogging and Michael-Moore-underwear-giveaways couldn't get young people to exercise the right that people fought long and hard for. Oooh, it's raining, we can't go outside! Oooh, there's a line, I can't possibly wait that long, I have to get back to sitting on my ass and watching daytime TV! It's pathetic, and sad, and I'm just so depressed right now I can barely BREATHE!

I guess now would be a good time to stop looking at the big picture. Focus on the depressing aspects of my little life instead of thinking about the problems of our country. Or maybe use this election as the motivation for a career change. I think I should go to law school and enter the political arena. Any thoughts? Does the illegal activity I may or may not have engaged in while pursuing my postsecondary education disqualify me? Hmmmm.....

Well, I guess I'd better fix up the blog a little...take off the John Kerry and ACT stickers, anyway. I suppose all is not lost, since Barak Obama did win the senate position. But between the republican domination, the passage of Ohio Amendment 1, and the succesful gerrymandering of Texas districts (I know, I moved, I shouldn't care)....it's just not a happy day for peacegrrl...or for peace in general, when you think about it.

-A very disillusioned peacegrrl

I am getting old.

I am very aware of this fact at the present because this morning, when I walked into my office after one of the biggest party weekends of the year and found a stack of discipline slips in my box, I didn't think to myself, "those crazy kids, I bet they had some good times!" That's more than likely what the 22-year-old version of peacegrrl, new to the student affairs field and fresh from four years of undergrad partying, would have said. But the older, more crotchety peacegrrl looked at the 32 write-ups, with offenses ranging from dangerous levels of intoxication to sex in public, sighed, and thought, "What the hell is wrong with this generation? They're a bunch of hoodlums, I tell you!"

What a day. I guess I get to be the bad, mean authority figure for the next few weeks as I try to round all of these folks up for discipline meetings. Now more than ever it is SO super-important that I get a life outside of work. And look for a nice, suitable guy to provide companionship and good lovin'. And take time to list off the positive, great things about my job. Otherwise I really am going to shrivel up and turn into some demented version of the asshole guidance counselor in The Breakfast Club.

Ah, well, all is not lost. I had a good weekend, bought that new "He's Just Not That Into You!" book and tried to delve into the mysteries of the male psyche. Jammed to the Garden State soundtrack, which will definitely go down as one of the better investments I've made in the past few months. And I did what any normal stressed-out, weary, plagued-with-guy-troubles-or-depressing-lack-thereof girl always enjoys: bought some shoes. I have located the closest DSW Shoe Wearhouse, and my meager budget will suffer for it, I can tell you. But it's nice to know that as I ponder the next stages of my life, I can take comfort in my new brown leather boots. See? I'm so stressed I'm getting shallow....
-pg

Is it the apocalypse?

I swear, I just looked out the window and the sky is black. So much for schlepping up to the office to pick up my paycheck...on second thought, I'm broke. I'll bring an umbrella. Seriously, though, the weather is gross. Good thing I don't have any big plans tonight. I was SUPPOSED to go see a show with a very nice guy I just met, but I have to do the staff bonding thing. I'd better get into the the spirit, too...my weak attempt at "teambuilding" will definitely bomb if it's obvious that I don't want to be there, either!

So this poor resident just came into my office soaking wet and very irritated...he got lost on the way to Judicial Affairs. Now he's REALLY a nervous wreck about his hearing. I think sometimes I'm too nice to some of these kids...I just feel sorry for them because they don't have a clue. I remember being 18 and wanting to party--and I definitely did my share of it. I never got caught, though, so I guess I feel the need to be kind of understanding to the people who do. And I know if I sit there and lecture them, I won't get through. Empathy is everything in what I do. Unfortunately, I get way too wrapped up in some of the crap that happens around here...and I find myself getting a little lost. I finally hung out with somebody I don't work with last night, and I find myself really hoping that I'll hear from him again. Not just because he's a cute guy and I had a good time. But because it would be so awesome to have a relationship--friendship or otherwise-- that isn't centered around work. Bleh....this really is quarter-life crisis.

What a downer. Let's talk about something more upbeat. I knit my first hat this week! I'm such a damn nerd. Now I'm making a matching scarf. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but when I get stressed out, I make scarves...so now I have something like fifteen of them. I don't know why I don't just branch out and make a damn sweater...

Alrighty, I seem to be out of things to say so I'll shut up for now.
-peacegrrl

Countdown To Insanity!

The little "election countdown" picture on the right-hand side of this page is starting to freak me out. One week left. Holy shit. What ever will I talk about after it's all decided? Okay, you're right, I do plenty of non-political bitching and ranting, but still. The campaign has provided so much fodder for intellectual banter, both in the real and virtual worlds. After it's all said and done, the bottom line is that half of America is going to be really, really pissed off. And then a few days later we'll get over it and go on about our daily business. It'll be the end of an era. They say it's too close to call in Ohio right now, and from the way it's looking with all of the early-voting problems, I hope that there isn't any mass hysteria when the numbers come in and they're only a few thousand apart. I hope that both candidates exhibit some grace and don't insist on a recount and Supreme Court intervention and hold us all in suspense until Christmas. For better or worse, let's just get the damn thing over with.

Having said that, good grief, I hope Kerry can win this thing. I went to see Michael Moore on Sunday night, how fabulous is that? I don't always agree with the guy, but I will tell you, what a speech he can give. A perfect combination of humor, optimism, and sharp (though definitely skewed) observation, in a language that the everyday person can understand. Yeah, he gets on his high horse, but he admits it. You listen to him and you think maybe there's hope for this country yet. It's so relieving to be surrounded by the pro-choice, super-liberal likeminded. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too far to the left, but then I realize, you know, most Americans are like me--they just don't always want to admit it.

Well, I'm babbling without much of a purpose so perhaps it's time for a subject change. The scariest movie ever is playing on channel 10 all week, I guess in tribute to Halloween, and I wonder, how many Exorcist nightmares will I have this month? It's a sick fascination I have with this movie. Every time I watch it, I get insomnia for a week, and when I do manage to get a little sleep my dreams are full of devil people spewing pea-soup puke. I know--there's so much hype, but how scary can it really be? But watch it alone in your apartment in the dead of night, people. And yet I'm always tempted to put it on--after all, scares aside, it's a pretty good movie. The plot is intriguing, the acting isn't half bad, and the general spookiness really gets into your head. It's definitely not the horror movie of the new millenium, but it proves that good old-fashioned psychological terror is much more effective than a billion dollars worth of CG special effects. So will I be able to resist temptation and stay away from the scariness in favor of sweet dreams and a good night's sleep? Or will Halloween mischief get the best of me? We shall see...

Speaking of Halloween, did anybody know how big a deal this stupid holiday is in Ohio college towns? From what I've heard, all the furies of hell break loose at the downtown bars. We're doubling up duty coverage in all of the residence halls, and the police are setting up as though it's riot time. What's the deal? Where I'm from, if you're that excited about Halloween you go down to Sixth Street in Austin. Otherwise it's just another day. Maybe because on Oct. 31 it's still freakin' 90 degrees outside and it's too hot for people to feel like being crazy. Who knows. I'll just tell you that I'm dreading this weekend--or rather, I'm dreading Monday morning, when I get to process the fifty or so resulting discipline cases. Maybe during my meetings with the "bad kids" I'll ask some philosophical questions and try to get to the bottom of all of this Halloween madness.

This post has absolutely no point. As an english major they tried to teach us the importance of sticking to a clear topic in our essay writing, and here I am, disgracing my degree and spewing out whatever comes to mind. My advisor would be horrified.
-pg

Bush debate notes...and why the Christian Coalition rocks my world!

He was scribbling away last Wednesday night, gathering his thoughts and preparing for his next response. So what on earth was Bushie writing? Facts and figures? Witty comebacks? A shopping list? Well, someone thought the American public needed to know, so the notes were swiped, put on the internet, and we can all see for ourselves. Pretty cool, don't you think?

Speaking of politics, the wacky folks at the Christian Coalition hit the campus this weekend, sticking brochures in the windshield wipers of all of us freaks with Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers. At first I was pissed; I'm not a fan of these people. They dare to call themselves "pro-Family," but what I think what they really do is pressure our leaders to legislate morality and abuse the name of God for their own personal agendas. I didn't want their stupid glossy three-page tract, full of candidate-by-candidate comparisons and a scoresheet telling us who to vote for. But then I took a second glance...and the magic happened right before my very eyes: there were all of the Ohio candidates for the house and senate, and a breakdown of where they stand. Who's against the Federal Marriage Amendmant, who opposes overturning Roe v. Wade, who thinks gun control is a good idea, and who doesn't want to drain public schools of the money they so desperately need by pouring funding into voucher programs...organized into neat little color-coded columns. What an awesome coincidence! I'm new to Ohio, you know, and as I ponder who (besides Kerry) to vote for, I've been wondering how to find out which candidates are pro-choice, pro-gun control, and non-homophobic. And holy cow, the answers appeared right on dirty windshield of my truck--highlighted in red, no less! So thanks, Christian Coalition. Since you've done all of the research for me, I can spend more time with my gay friends, or even worse, surfing that evil Campaign for Women's Lives site.

Seriously, I get both angry and depressed when groups like this try and convince people that if they dissent, then they can't really be Christian. A lot of folks would probably read my little blog and dub me the antichrist. But I'm proud to be a Christian Liberal--and yeah, there is such a thing. There are those of us out there who are sick of distilling Christianity into two issues: abortion and who should have the right to get married. We care about crazy, offbeat stuff like poverty, job losses, the number of Americans without health care, and the racial divide in this country. We have this wild idea in our head that Jesus would never support unwarranted war, corporate outsourcing, or tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. I can't plug the Sojourners website enough--Jim Wallis is out there telling American that we know voting for Bush isn't validation of our love of God. We're here, we're organized, and we're voting. The best thing we can do is let our voices be heard and refuse to blindly follow.

And so ends the babble for today. I'm bored, hungry, and off to find a cookie.
-pg

How do you deal?

Is it PMS, or just depression? Hard to tell. Today is the 15th, but it may as well be Friday the 13th for all the hell I've been catching at work. First off, in the midst of dealing with a 2-week long crisis with a student, I let a few other seemingly less-important issues slide...which doesn't appear to have gone over well with The Boss. She said not to worry about it. And I don't think I should. After all, the crisis in question was pretty damn big--so big I don't dare blog about it in detail, so if you want to know what happened, you'll just have to call me and ask. But I still feel like a big fuck-up. It's so hard to keep up with the crap that happens in these two buildings. If I had a master's degree, I'd be paid as an RHD II, and I'd have an assistant hall director. But instead I'm paid as an RHD I, but put in an RHD II area--because supposedly I have the chops for it, according to The Boss. But do I? Can I really handle the stuff that's been coming down over the past few weeks? Three years at a rich-kid school seems like it would toughen you up. But it hasn't. My kids have psychological problems the likes of which I've never seen, parents who contact me more than they do (literally, today is the first workday in over 2 weeks during which I haven't either met with or talked on the phone with somebody's mom), and a fairly vicious criminal bent. Is it the new generation? Or am I just a big wuss?

And it's that fabulous time of the month--the new moon, and PMS. So I feel even MORE incompetant, unnattractive, and fragile than normal. It's a Friday night, it's freezing outside, gray, and raining, and every one of my friends has dinner plans--and none of them include me. Hello homesickness. How do people deal when they feel this way? Some of us hit the bottle, some hit the kitchen, and I have a friend who was so stressed out yesterday that he went out and bought 5 sweaters. I guess my strategy is simple: go home, put on the grubbies, order a pizza, and pop in a depressing DVD. A good cry will probably do the trick and get me out of my funkiness. I have every reason to be happy and feel good, and I know that this week has been unusually tough. Better times to come. (And if you're alarmed at the number of times this blog seems to make reference to how bummed out I am, don't freak--I tend to write when I'm feeling like crap, as opposed to when I'm in decent spirits...peacegrrl isn't in the throes of misery or anything.)

-a very pissy peacegrrl

Graduate school headaches

Holy crap, I'm stressed again. Every time I start thinking about my future and the inevitable work that I must do to get beyond my live-on, haunted-by-undergrads, up-all-night existance, I end up with the beginnings of a damn migraine. I wonder, what was so bad about South Texas that I couldn't stick it out for three more semesters to finish my damn degree in a perfectly good program? Why did I feel the need to move 1,200 miles away and start a fresh journey down the grad school road, which we all know is paved with pissy Registrar's Office people and red tape? Granted, free tuition was a perk--three semesters or not, I was still at least $6k away from my Tx State M. Ed. Bleh. I've worked it out that if the 36 hours I need to take are offered at the times and in the sequence that I need them, I may be able to graduate by May 2006. That's nice. Of course what are the odds that things will work out that way? This is my life, people, and we all know what that means: Murphy's Law (honestly, they ought to change it to Peacegrrl's Law) reigns supreme.

And I didn't get any damn sleep last night. It's becoming a typical Sunday night ritual, probably because of how much I screw up my sleep schedule every weekend. AND I have this stuffy-nose thing, and I can't tell if it's allergies, sinuses, or an impending cold. Add that to the fact that I had to talk to yet another parent this morning whose child is incapable of working out her own freaking roommate problems, and you can imagine what a ball of joy I am this Monday! Grrrr. It could be worse. Actually, life IS okay, despite numerous indications to the contrary. (This is me working on the "positive outlook" thing). I'm in decent health, I bought three shirts this weekend that look damn good on me, and I may actually get to put some more money into the savings account this month. There, I feel better already. And eventually I WILL get my master's degree and I'll have a job I like that doesn't require me to put in 12-hour days. Okay, I guess I'm over my stress-fest now. Do men do this? Do they have six mood changes in the span of 10 minutes? Do normal women even do this? Maybe this is the apex of the quarter-life crisis. I'd hate to think it gets any crazier.

So I know I've mentioned in this blog that I'm a knitter, and I know at least one other person who reads this is too. And of course after reading last week's terrific post in which I put in a plug for Knitty, my favorite zine, EVERYONE'S going to discover the zen of two needles and a ball of yarn. Did you know that there are a million knitting blogs out there? If I wasn't so lazy and owned a digital camera (and actually believed there were legions of followers out there who wanted to see my latest scarf, sock, or pillow cover), I might start one myself. Anyway, there actually is a point to this babble. If you do anything that involves yarn--knitting, crocheting, playing with the cat, whatever--check out Peace Fleece. I love these people--they sell yarn that's a mixture of wool from their farm in Maine and international high-conflict hot spots, like Isreal, the West Bank, and the Czek Republic. They work with craftspeople all over the world to foster cooperation, good will, and kick-ass yarn. And check out the Baghdad Blue shade, because they're donating the proceeds to a community in Isreal where Palestinians and Isrealies live and work together. Really. Such a place exists.

Okay, I've ranted, gotten over my stress, and done my part for world peace. So I guess I should use the remaining 50 minutes of time in my office to do something "productive." Later...
-pg

So, it's Friday.

And I have nothing particularly interesting planned. Well, a trip to Sam's Club is in the works, but buying in bulk doesn't exactly scream "Yay for the weekend!"

Yeah, so I just consumed a really gnarly amount of spinach dip and now I feel sick. Maybe I need to go back to South Beach or Weight Watchers or whatever. Why does food have to be SO good? And why can't we be like those Polynesian countries where excess weight is considered to be beautiful and symbolic of prosperity? Here all the hip rich people pay plastic surgeons and personal trainers thousands of dollars to look like they're starving. What the hell is wrong with this country?

Enough of that. I'm still working on the positivity. Thanks to my buddy Lisa, I'm doing a "gratitude list" thing. Yes, it sounds cheesy and new-agey and very Oprah, but I actually kind of like it. It's nice to spend a few minutes a day thinking up things that I'm actually not bitching about! So here it is, Peacegrrl's Gratitude Journal. We'll see how long I keep it up.

Alrighty, so it's five till five, and that's close enough to the weekend for me.
-pg

I am woman, hear me roar...

So did you know that if Roe V. Wade is reversed, a not-so-unlikely proposition if Bushie gets four more years and picks up another anti-abortion Supreme Court justice, thirty US states have mechanisms in place that would ban abortion within the year? Yup-- it's true. Scary thought. And one more reason to get off the couch and vote next month. We all have different views about abortion--some think it's an abomonation, others use it as a form of birth control. But I think the bottom line, and the reality, is that the way you deal with it is between you and God. And criminalizing abortion and sending it to the back alleys will lead to coat-hanger surgery and dead women. Call me crazy, but that doesn't seem so "pro-life" to me.

So in defiance to this chilling idea, and in celebration of all things womanly, here are my favorite neo-feminist sites I've stumbled on to as of late:
1. Bust magazine. Absolutely fantastic. Anybody want to buy me a subscription? The "boobtique" is loaded with good grrl stuff, and the "girl wide web" is a portal made just for us--tons of groovy links. And send all your girlfriends a free BUSTcard.
2. Chubby Girl Brigade. I can't help but fall instantly in love with a blog whose slogan is "you can have a tummy and still be yummy."
3. Good Vibes. I've been a devotee of this site ever since it was featured on the Sunday Night Sex Show. It's a fantastic zine full of sex from the woman's perspective. And the antique vibrator museum is pretty funny, too.
4. Knitty. Pick up some needles and join the stitch-and-bitch revolution--you'll be glad you did. Knitting is supposedly the new "zen" activity for the under-35 crowd. Not sure about all that. But it's not just for little old ladies anymore. Knitty is loaded with hip, modern patterns, knitting advice, etc. If you're not crafty, send Grandma the link and get her to whip together a "Banshee" guitar strap. Rock on.
5. Jennifer Weiner. If you haven't read Good In Bed yet, what the heck are you waiting for? Weiner is one of the best authors to hit pop fiction in forever. She's above the whole "chick-lit" genre--a little too smart and biting for it. And her thick-chick wit rocks my world.

Well, that's all for today--my workday has ended and I'm getting a cold, so feel sorry for me. More later!
-pg

A big night for politiphiles...

Is that even a word? So tonight's the night--Bush and Kerry will finally go head-to-head. It's less about debating the points, and more about seeing who looks better now that we can finally see them side by side. My republican friend (yeah, I have one, I know...) insists that he has to watch the debates alone. I'm guessing he just doesn't want to deal with me chuckling every time Bush makes up a silly word or screws up his subject/verb agreement. My politically ambivalent friends are just pissy that ER is being pre-empted. As for me? I'm kind of excited about tonight, even though I know that a lot of minds are already made up and the debates aren't too important to most Americans. I want to see how my boy will do in the big leagues. If he blows it tonight, we're in real trouble, especially in Ohio. It's amazing. Living in Texas, I saw a grand total of two different political ads, both by Bush, both on MSNBC during primetime. Here in Ohio, you can't watch a primetime television show without seeing at least five to six different mudslinging video clips. This is ground zero for the presidential race--it's not a cliche, it's the truth. An invisible line runs through this state, dividing the urbanites and the rural families, the southern Ohioans who still fly Confederate flags and the ones up here, who consider themselves part of the northeast. Every vote counts. And for a few people, tonight might tip the scales one way or the other.

If you're watching tonight and you're not too sure what to be looking for in terms of strategy (I'm no political analyst, so I could definitely use some help here), MSNBC contributor Howard Fineman has put together a fairly non-biased, easy-to-understand checklist of important things each candidate needs to achieve tonight in order to come out on top. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to keeping score. Are we on the verge of real change in this country? Or will things just stay the same? I think the answer depends on a lot more than who wins on 11/2, but it's an exciting time to be a voter. Just don't blow it, Kerry....
-Peacegrrl

Healthy food sucks

I just ate this "sugar-free" tastykake thing, because it's supposed to be all low-carb and whatever, and it tasted like absolute crap. I know. I'm finally living in a place where I can FIND tastykakes (for those who haven't discovered the joy, they're what Hostess wishes they could be. Yum.), and I wasted my three bucks on the nasty "healthy" version. Bleh! I swear to you, I would have the body of Sarah Jessica Parker if I just didn't like to eat so much. Maybe it's in my Sicilian genes--I'm just not MEANT to be a little skinny person. It would be nice to have a totally perfect little body, but then I wouldn't have my curves...and from what I hear about the Ohio winter, I'll be happy to have the extra insulation.

Anyway, enough about my body-image issues. Today is a semi-blah, semi-okay day. Work is draining, as always, but I'm making a conscious effort to stop being such a pessimistic bitch and start looking on the bright side of things. In an effort to get the hell off campus and pretend to start having a non-work life, I dragged myself out of bed this Sunday and headed off to church. I know...when most people my age want to get a life, they do the bar/club thing. I went with religion. Not sure which is a better option, to be honest. Anyway, it was kind of nice, everyday families and old people as opposed to throngs of scantily-clad freshmen. I may even go back. Church can actually be really uplifting--if you find one that doesn't cram anything down your throat or judge you. You get time to sit, to chill, to meditate on God (or your version of a higher power). For me, it's one time when I can't distract myself with anything else--work, guy problems, family stress, whatever. Prayer is repetitive and somewhat reassuring. It gives me a chance to make my mind be still. And the singing is the best part. I'm comforted by the fact that every Lutheran church in the world sings the same old songs. It's kind of like finding a McDonald's in a foreign country--at least you know ONE thing will be familiar. Faith is a funny thing. If you think about it too hard, it's so easy to talk yourself out of it. But then sometimes you find a moment in your life when you just give up and figure to hell with it, I can't fix everything! That's where I'm trying to be right now.

Let's face it--I hate it when people are mad at me. I hate it when I can't give somebody the right answer, or when I screw up and I don't feel like any amount of apologizing will make it better. And most of all I hate it when people don't like me for no good reason! I'm pissy these days because life is not perfect--it's sloppy and boring and stressful and lonely, and I question the wisdom of moving so far away from everything that I knew and cared about. But it'll pass. If it doesn't, I'll only have myself to blame. I won't put myself into a comfortable box and stay there for the rest of my life. I can't. Yeah, maybe in two years I'll be right back in Texas, but at least I'll be able to say I did something else for a while. When I feel like this, I get anxious and moody and cranky, but I also have to believe that if I don't let a little homesickness and disillusionment get to me, things are going to be fine.

Wow, this didn't feel like the day for a profound "feelings" post, but there you have it. I'm sure I'll have something less heavy to say in a few days. The presidential debates are coming up, and I imagine they'll provide plenty of sillier things to talk about. I wonder how much time we're going to waste with crap like gay marriage? And will Kerry be able to stand up to Bush's "good-old-boy" redneck appeal with his dry rich-kid ways? It's an interesting time we live in, folks...
-pg

Grrr...monday

So first off, many apologies for neglecting the blog lately. The sad truth is that I've actually had so much to do at work lately that I've barely had time to check my e-mail, let alone work on my favorite timewasters. And let's be honest, it's been a down time for me. I've been sucked way in by my job, I haven't adjusted to living in a new state, I've replaced cigarettes with a frightening caffeine habit, and as for men...don't even get me started. And nobody wants to hear about depression, right? So be happy I haven't posted in a while. I'm feeling optimistic today, though. Maybe this week I won't spend every waking minute counseling some freshman who's in tears because she hates her roommate. Maybe those loud people on the fourth floor will shut the hell up so I don't have to call them in for ANOTHER disciplinary meeting. One can always hope.
So, a recap of interesting events since my last post:
1. Went to a football game. Will NEVER do that again. Let's just say Thursday night, a losing team, and a college stadium that sells beer are simply not a good mix. I'm getting too old to tolerate the frenzy of a boozed-up crowd of horny eighteen year-olds.
2. I missed ER, thanks to the aforementioned football experience. So I'm now a week behind.
3. I feel like a loser because I'm actually BOTHERED by having missed a TV show.
4. I've decided that a coworker hates me and is out to destroy me.
We'll see if #4 continues to bear itself out this week. It's possible that I'm just being paranoid, but you never know...
So there are other things to discuss in a future post--the latest in peacegrrl men, of course, a few thoughts on church--I actually went yesterday, and of course I'm behind a political rant or two. So worry not, I'll be back. For now, I have to go to a professional development workshop. Do I expect to be professionally developed by anything that is covered in the next two hours? Of course not. But we're being optimistic this week, remember? More later...
-peacegrrl

Boredom is back!

So, those of you who read the last post and were somewhat disturbed by the idea of me doing actual work, well, breathe a sigh of relief. I've been sitting at my desk for almost two hours and had nothing to do. No room changes, no psycho-upset parents, no discipline meetings, nada. Fabulous. There was so much free time that I gave my blog a mini-makeover. All I really did was add a blogroll and rearrange some stuff on the sidebar. I swear, I'm flying blind half the time. I don't know shit about HTML. I guess and I cut and paste, and somehow it comes out looking okay. Thank God for the "preview" tool or this thing would be even sloppier than it already is. Anybody want to give me a tutorial?

So the blogroll was definitely necessitated by the fact that, well, I've found some pretty cool blogs lately. There's another "grrl" on the web--midwest grrl. And another Mason Jennings fan. These were definitely items of note. And then there are the blogs that I've been faithfully following for a while-- birdherder and secret exploits--and I suppose it's time to share them with my blogging pals. It's so refreshing to find something funny and intelligent in a cyberspace littered with popups and porn sites. And it's the best office timekiller since solitaire.

So hey, is anybody as excited as I am about the addition of Shane West to the ER crew? Does anybody else watch ER anymore? Yeah, it's getting a little tired, every possible relationship combination has been pursued and they've run through every "dramatic cliffhanger" I can think of, from helocopter crashes to the plague, but something about it still keeps me coming back for more. And I think the new blood will be a good thing. Shane West...mmmm. I've missed him since they yanked "Once and Again." Yeah, he did "A Walk To Remember," but I forgive him (okay, the movie wasn't THAT bad). Thursday nights are exciting again. And the word on the street is that Dr. Carter is going to be leaving us at the end of the season, so it will be kind of fun to see how they kill him off. If taking the semester off of grad school has provided me with anything, it's the chance to get into primetime TV again. Never mind that I'm now filling my head with fluff rather than knowledge! The Apprentice rocks my world!

So, stupid act(s) of the week...went out last night, had a little too much fun, ended up babbling to my republican coworker for the better part of an hour, after which I was depressed so I felt the need to babble away to my buddy/cousin (I think I'll nickname him Dallas, for reasons he'll be sure to understand.) and then after that I didn't feel I had been quite obnoxious enough, so I left a babbling message on The Boy's voicemail. Dumb, dumb peacegrrl. When will I learn? Damn Limle and her tequila shots! Bleh. At least I'm not hung over.

Well, despite all appearances to the contrary I actually do have some work to do before I leave early today (yay for leaving early, but boo because it's to say goodbye to a favorite coworker :-(...) so it's time to jam. Later...
-peacegrrl

Where the hell have I been?

Working. Really. Believe it! That's right, one of the many idiosyncrasies of a job in student affairs is that one day you're playing Word Womp and chowing down on Doritos because there's not a damn thing to do, and the next you're happy to have time for a shower and fifteen minutes of sleep before the next crisis. I feel like it's been ages since I've had time for my beloved blog. I haven't had a chance to watch the news, so besides the imminent doom of Hurricane Ivan, there aren't any current events for me to comment on/bitch about. Oh wait, I take that back, the assault weapons ban ended yesterday. Way to go, NRA. That might help to take some of the wind out of Bush's post-convention bounce. Speaking of which, my new institution's newspaper had a whiney cover story all about how two of its reporters got arrested at the convention because they refused to disperse when ordered. I have to say, many of the students at this place seem bound and determined to live up to its history. They'll protest just about anything, and most of them don't even seem to know what the protesting is even about. It's like those UT kids who say they're liberals but don't actually know anything about the issues they're so eager to embrace. To all the boys and girls out there reading this: Don't jump on a bandwagon because it will make you sound smart or because a rock star says you should. Educate yourself and then make up your own mind, based on your own convictions. I'd rather fight with a diehard conservative who knows what he's talking about than have some wannabee who just found out who's running for president take up my cause.

So has everybody heard Michael Moore's latest? He's not putting in F 9/11 for a Best Documentary Oscar, insisting that the reason is so he can pursue a last-ditch effort to get it on TV before the election. A lot of people are convinced it's so he can stack the odds in his favor for the Best Picture prize. And although I think it's an important film, and everybody should see it, as a true movie fanatic I have to say that I'll be pretty pissed off at The Academy if F 9/11 wins. It's not what the Oscars are all about. It's a documentary, not a movie. There aren't any actors or set designers. It captures the realities of current times, but I don't think it's the kind of thing that's going to endure, other than to serve as a time capsule for the G-Dubya Snafu-o-Rama. Let's face it--we aren't going to see it on Turner Classic Movies in fifty years. I'll be irritated if it even gets nominated. Mike, I'm not too sure what you're thinking. I've stood by you, so don't do me (and all of the other movie purists out there) wrong!

Today is a day from hell--meetings right up to 11pm, so I'm cutting this rant short. Thanks to my girlfriends for their winter weather advice. We'll see how long I last up here...
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Ohio weather is for shit.

I guess it's not really Ohio's fault, it's that damn Hurricane Frances. In any case, it's grey, it's raining, and it's downright depressing. I'm being even crankier than usual today. And while we're on the subject, when did I get so moody? I didn't really notice it at first, but then people at work kept coming up to me and asking if I was okay. Maybe I just need to smile more. Or maybe it's the fact that I had a fourteen-day run without any time off. Who knows. Anyway, it's something to work on. I don't want to come off as a total bitch. I have to be honest, though. There's not a whole lot to smile about. We're at the 1,000 mark in terms of the lost lives in Iraq. Bushie just got a bounce in the polls thanks to the four-day crap-o-rama they call the Republican National Convention. My new khaki pants are covered in lint. I talked to The Boy last week, so THAT can of worms is officially open. No word from The Guy. Bleh! I should go shopping. Isn't that what we shallow, commercialistic Americans do best when we're feeling down? Spend money! And I got paid last week, too, so I'm temporarily wealthy. I'm told I should be looking for winter clothes. What exactly does one wear in an Ohio winter? A parka and snowboots? Seriously, I have no idea how to conceptualize below-zero temperatures. It's a good thing I crochet scarves when I'm stressed. At least my NECK will be warm.

So I got to see Kerry last week at a rally in Akron. And I have to say, in person he's much better looking, although his face really is abnormally long. Too bad Edwards couldn't come with him. Now THERE'S a reason to get motivated to vote, my friends. Yes, it's superficial, I'm sure he wants to be taken seriously for his ideals, yadda yadda, but mmmm...he's a lovely man. And have you seen his wife? Yup, she's a thick chick. Proof that curves rule! Anyway, back to politics...so Bushie made history last week by raising Medicare premiums by the highest percentage in 40 years. Whoo-hoo! Yay for making poor/old people's lives even harder! How the hell does Bush sleep at night? I don't know, maybe Kerry is nothing more than Bush Light, which is what I keep hearing people say. Maybe he's full of empty promises. But I say we have to start somewhere. Compassionate conservativism is a pile of lies. It's rewarding the rich with tax breaks, blaming the poor for their plight, and trying to turn the government into a state church. I'm sick and tired of hearing that Republicans are the moral conscience of our country. They aren't. How moral is to let millions of Americans live without healthcare, or spend billions to bomb another country while our schools fall apart?

Wow. I didn't know I had that enthusiasm in me today. I'm happy to report, however, that I have wasted the remainder of my workday with this post. I can now go home, change into my favorite ratty hoodie, and hang out with my friends and some watered-down Sex and the City. Laziness is what makes rainy days rule.
Over and out...
-pg

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

45 minutes left...

until I finally get to leave the office. It's amazing how exhausting sitting on one's ass can really be. Although, all things considered, I feel that I was very productive today. I managed to spend somewhere around 40 bucks on stuff from SeeYaGeorge.com, for one. It makes me happy to support two otherwise unemployed Austinites, and where else are you going to find a t-shirt that says, "Democrats are sexy...who ever heard of a good piece of elephant?" The entire afternoon was devoted to bush-bashing, as a matter of fact...I probably spent an hour on Bush Removal reading up on all of the wonderful things people have to say about our leader. My personal favorite was probably the quote by Ron Reagan, Jr.: "What's his accomplishment? That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?" Then, of course, I had to cruise by my old favorites, Moveon.org and Michael Moore's site. Lots of fun stuff going on in light of the convention. If I didn't have such an obsession with keeping my job, I would definitely be raising hell in New York. I actually heard that the student government just approved $52k from their budget to try and get Moore to speak here sometime this fall. It's so damn nice to be out of Texas...don't get me wrong, it doesn't totally suck (hello, Austin), but we liberals have to travel in packs and be as inconspicuous as possible. Up here nobody's in the closet. It's good times.

So the great ipod moral dilemma continues. It hasn't been claimed, so it sits here in my office just begging to be listened to. And I'm happy to oblige, after all, our time together could end at any moment. And good music wasn't meant to sit idly by--it must be heard! I'm still in the middle of my Postal Service thing. I figure I'm still within the ethical boundaries if all I do is LISTEN to the ipod in the office. If I start adding music to it, carrying it around, buying it new headphones and a case, giving it a name, telling it how much I love it...then I've probably crossed the line. I will try to be careful.

I can't watch Sex and the City tonight, and this is unfortunate. Luckily, however, I will probably be out having a drink with some friends, which is actually in the spirit of Sex and the City, so I guess it's ok. Maybe I'll break out the hootchie clothes and see if I can score. Maybe not. I think I'm too tired to flirt. And that's how you know you're approaching rock bottom, people.

That is all...
-pg

Sunday Morning Torture

Yes, it's Sunday, and I've been awake since quarter to seven. Why, you ask? Why would anyone do such a thing if they didn't have to? It's not like it's Easter or anything (and truth be told, I've never been able to do the whole sunrise service thing--I just think God really wants me to get enough sleep, you know?). No, the reason for my premature awakening is the fact that I'm still checking in freshmen. For whatever reason, the powers that be at my new place of employment thought it would be a good idea to have a desk in each hall open from 8am to 5pm from Wednesday to Sunday. What does this mean? It means seven days in a row without a day off, sleep deprivation, and a very irritable staff. Sigh. There MUST be a better way to do this.

Whoo-hoo for the return of the Assclownette CD!!!! Vixen, I will contact you to arrange for its safe recovery. It's not a moment too soon--I've been pining away for my favorite Duncan Sheik song (track number seven, if you want to give it a listen). Let this be a lesson to all: when your friend is visiting and your toxic ex-boyfriend shows up at the door, don't get so freaked out and distracted that you leave your favorite CD in the karaoke machine! It's all about priorities!

So does anybody want to buy me this cd? I'm thinking The Postal Service might be my next band obsession, even though they're not really a band, more of a side project (speaking of side projects, does anybody remember The Rentals, our beloved Weezer spinoff?) Somebody turned in a lost ipod to the office and as of yet, it hasn't been retrieved. So, of course, I felt it my duty to peruse the song list, and instead of finding the top 40 that I feared, I discovered Jack Johnson, Modest Mouse, some underground Dave Matthews, and the aforementioned The Postal Service. Impressive. And then I thought, well, nobody's looking, so I decided to give the PS a listen--i'd heard and enjoyed at least one of their songs (thanks to The Guy). And I do believe I'm hooked. They're very catchy electropop, which is always fun. All hail the good music. Perhaps the owner will come to claim it, and he will be an extremely cute non-republican guy who knows how to cook, likes dogs and babies and quick-witted curvaceous women, and spends hours watching all of the Law and Orders. A romance could be born, and at the wedding we'd tell everyone how Macintosh technology and good songs brought us together. Hmmm....One can hope.

Well, I think my staff is getting restless. None of them had breakfast and they're starting to eye one another hungrily. It's time to check on them before things get ugly. More peacegrrl news to come...
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Overheard today...

"For every gay man that comes out of the closet, somewhere there's a fat girl crying in the corner." Allegedly this refers to the syndrome that occurs when the voluptuous woman meets a guy who's nice to her, starts to fall for him, and then gets to be the first to find out that not only isn't there a chance in hell, but he's chosen HER to be his confidant!

Interesting. Hasn't happened to me yet. Give me time.

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If bitching were an Olympic sport, I'd kick China's ass

The above is my one and only acknowledgement to The Games. I'm sick of them--they've overtaken Bravo and MSNBC, and they're really starting to get in the way of "Law And Order: SVU" on USA. It is time for them to be over. I don't do well with disruptions in my television routine. And if that makes me sound pathetic, it's because I am. Back off!

Time for a shout-out to creepy office guy, who just paid me a visit. Bleh. Why must it be so hard to pin down the exact source of the creepiness? It's not like I can go to my boss with, "He gives me the uh-oh feeling and he keeps talking about his nipple rings. Can you please fire him?" He hasn't done anything wrong. He's actually not a bad guy. I just don't like being alone with him. He gives me the heebeejeebees. And he's been wearing the same shorts for the past two weeks. Nasty.

Sometime today, you should play the virgin game. And then you should sigh and shake your head at the fact that you just spent ten minutes of your life looking at bad pictures and speculating on the sex lives of others. It's a strange, sad world we live in, folks...

So life in Ohio is plugging on. The freshmen have descended upon us, the air is thick with the smell of underage drinking, and it's official: a new school year has begun. It's kind of fun to be on a real college campus, as opposed to TLU, which is really more like a small high school with residence halls. Up here there are actual people of color, instead of hordes of rich white kids and the occasional token African-American who was recruited for track or football. What's more, people are actually allowed to talk about sex instead of pretending it doesn't exist outside of marriage. They even--gasp!--had Planned Parenthood come out and give condoms to the RAs. I don't know, TLU has its advantages, but there were so many topics that were taboo, so many restrictions on who you could talk to, what you could say, and what lines you could and couldn't cross. I feel like I was in a vacuum for three years and now I'm finally working in the real world (well, as real as a college campus can actually be). It's extremely relieving.

On that profound note--I suppose I should do some real work today, so I'll end this before creepy office guy comes back and tries to read over my shoulder.
-peacegrrl

Six Days In...

A few updates for those of you keeping track at home:
1. It took over three weeks for me to get an e-mail account from my new employer. I am not impressed.
2. My new pager is a piece of crap. But at least it gets entertainment updates and horoscopes. It is important to find joy in the little things.
3. The RHD next door and I are related. Really! Distant cousins. It's a small world.
4. My staff is still cool. One of them is a negative pain in the butt, another one is a little ditzy, and a third one is afraid of her own shadow, but I like to think of them as a lump of raw talent just waiting to be shaped by my able hands.
5. It smelled like marijuana outside my apartment last night, but we were never able to locate the source. Very disappointing.
6. Knibb High football rules!

That's all for today...
-pg

The Chaos Begins!

Well, it's August 15, which, in the illustrious, high-paying (ha!) world of student affairs, means STRESS. So forgive me if the posts get a little more erratic over the next few weeks--I'll be happy just to get a shower on a regular basis. There are a few items of note, however:
1. I look like a moron on my new Ohio driver's license. (I was hung over, okay?)
2. Honey Brown is on tap at every bar I've been to since I got here. Gotta love the north.
3. As a whole, my new staff is a very cool group of people. I also don't find any of the guys particularly attractive. This is most definitely a good thing.
4. I made the investment and bought, rather than downloaded, the new Modest Mouse CD. I highly recommend it.
5. George W. Bush is an idiot. (Not referring to anything in particular, just thought I'd throw that in. Couldn't hurt.)
That's about all. Work is kicking my ass, but I continue to include among my daily prayers of thanksgiving the fact that I'm not at TLU anymore. I'm making new friends, enjoying the hot undergrads while still pining for The Guy, and still not getting any, but to quote Abby from The Truth About Cats and Dogs, "One can survive. This is the mechanical age."

I promise to post an occasional update as we enter the saga of freshman move-in. Wish me luck.
-pg

36 questions

Questions stolen from Murphy's blog, source of all things cool...
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR BEDROOM WALLS? Off-white
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? A few...Evidence of Things Unseen, by Marianne Wiggins, Stupid White Men, by Michael Moore, and, for trash romance fun, Morning Glory, by LaVyrle Spencer
3. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? James Dean
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Trivial Pursuit
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Real Simple
6. FAVORITE SMELL? I'll have to get back to you on that
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Probably blue, but orange and purple and green are good too
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? puke-green
9. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP? four, i think
10. MOST IMPORTANT MATERIAL THING IN MY LIFE? Either my car or my computer
11. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Ben and Jerry's One Sweet Whirled (coffee with caramel, marshmallow swirl, and fudge chunks)
12. DO YOU BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT DAILY? Yeah, defensive driving did me no good
13. DO YOU HAVE A STUFFED ANIMAL IN YOUR ROOM SOMEWHERE? Yes, a beanie baby with a peace sign on it...they don't call me peacegrrl for nothing
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Scary, as anyone who knows me can tell you
15. FAVORITE DRINK? Non-alcoholic: diet pepsi. Alcoholic: Tequiza (don't laugh at me.)
16. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? March 28, 1979
17. FAVORITE VEGETABLES? Broccolli, green peppers
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Lead singer in a band, or politician, can't decide
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Some variation of red
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? As Mr. Big on Sex and the City would say, "abso-fucking-lutely."
21. TOP THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (IN ORDER)? This changes from week to week, but right now it's probably Amelie, Sense and Sensibility, and Bridget Jones' Diary
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Of course
23. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? God only knows, and I'm in no hurry to find out
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? Eight
25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV & IN PERSON? TV: basketball; in person: baseball
26. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Fucking up too big for it to be fixed
27. FAVORITE CD OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Mason Jennings, self-titled
28. FAVORITE TV SHOW OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? either Sex and the City or Law and Order SVU
29. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? I don't eat red meat, but if I did, hot dogs, definitely
30. THE COOLEST PLACES YOU’VE EVER BEEN? Nowhere cool lately, but when I was little I lived in both Brooklyn and Cuba, so I guess that's cool
31. WHAT WALLPAPER AND/OR SCREENSAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? Peace Corps screensaver, plain background
32. DOES MCDONALD’S SKIMP ON YOUR FRIES & DO YOU CARE? All the time, don't care because I never eat them all
33. FAVORITE CHAIN RESTAURANT(s)? Currently, Taco Cabana but only because there aren't any up here
34. IF YOU HAVE A BOY (OR HAVE ANOTHER BOY) WHAT WOULD YOU NAME HIM? No idea
35. IF YOU COULD LEARN TO PLAY ONE INSTRUMENT OVERNIGHT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Guitar, I try, but I do it so badly
36. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS FROM? Already told you

Now, wasn't that fun?
-pg

One more thing

"A vote for change is a vote for a stronger, safer, healthier America. A vote for Bush is a vote for a divided, unstable, paranoid America. It is our duty to this beautiful land to let our voices be heard." -Dave Matthews

that's the right on, man, you said it all.
-pg

Can't sleep

It's sunday night, and of course I'm back in the no sleep zone. I think homesickness is settling in. I miss alicia, I miss k-dog, I miss my tx state buddies. It's freakin' 50 degrees outside and I think I'm actually starting to miss the godawful Texas heat. I DON'T miss the office politics, but I'm sure there are new ones to be had up here once I've settled in a little more. I miss The Guy, and even The Boy (but only a little and don't tell anybody). I miss smoking in the middle of the night, sitting outside on my steps in the humidity and hanging out with the lightening bugs. Bleh.

Really it's not so bad, so don't anybody go feeling sorry for me. This is the shit that happens when I stay up too late and think too much. I'm actually having fun up here and glad I made the move. I'm just having a pessimistic moment.

Go here, it's funny shit.

That's all for tonight.
-pg

The brownies in my office are tempting me

They are indeed. Just sitting there taunting me from inside of their tupperwear house. Hopefully some staffmates will come by and make them disappear, before I do!

Enough about that. Let's take a moment to sigh at the cute coworker who decided to wear a tight white t-shirt for Casual Friday. [insert wistful sigh here] At least it's something to look at during training sessions... Seriously, I'm going to do my damnedest to avoid an office crush--we all know that these are never a good idea, fun diversions though they may be. Of course it happens that the only two straight, nonmarried guys happen to be on my particular staff. One is not well-liked by everybody else, and okay, he is a little funny-looking, but everyone knows I tend to be attracted to wierdos... and the other, white t-shirt-wearing dude is actually a nice guy. Cute and not an asshole...that puts him out of my league! The last time I started to land one of those I moved away two weeks later! :-) I'm really starting to sound like a freak to my friends, what with this preoccupation towards men. I'm actually getting on my own nerves! Is this some kind of biological clock bullshit? Who knows. Maybe I just physiologically need more sex than most women. Hmmm....

I've been babbling to everyone about how much I love Modest Mouse so I figured I'd spread the obsession to my blog. "Float On" will definitely win you over, even if you're not a modern rock fan. Definitely beats some of the other meaningless pseudo-punk-rock-clones I've been hearing lately. Since we're on the subject, let me just say how much I HATE the fact that you have to look so damned hard to find decent music these days. You can't depend on the radio anymore (although there's a nice independant station out of Akron that I'm liking), and MTV is a string of shitty reality shows. If you want to fill your head with good sounds and good lyrics, you have to make a deliberate effort in this pop-fluff-dominated world. Anything that follows the "make a quick buck" formula gets thrust into heavy rotation until you can't go anywhere without hearing it. And when a good band DOES make it, they're called a sellout, so the real artists stay right below the surface and they're easy to overlook. Just want to give a public shoutout to National Public Radio and The Guy for exposing me to such fanatastic stuff as Wilco, Ben Kweller, and the above mentioned MM. Don't let the damn corporate slutbags who run the media tell you who you should be listening to!

End of rant.

Wow, I spent an entire paragraph bitching about something besides politics and men. Go me. I guess now I need to be productive. This will unfortuantely be a working weekend, but I'm going to go out and get my swerve on tonight. Let's hope I'm good and hung over tommorow morning! Happy friday to all...
-peacegrrl

Cow people are wierd...

...as my sister would say. I just have to take a moment to say something nice and judgmental about that awful "Redneck Girls" song that I inadvertantly heard one of the custodians blaring a minute ago...hmm, "hell yeah" to a legacy of stupidity, poverty, sexism, and racism. Country music...i can only sigh and scratch my head...

Big woo-hoo for Alicia and her acceptance into the PhD program....yeah man, that's "Dr. Alicia" to you...

okay, back to training now, and i left my milkshake in my apartment so I MUST retrieve it...i need the chocolatey goodness to help me survive another hour of "how to be an effective supervisor."
-pg